


Mello's Roses

by gimme_that_pen_back



Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Dreams and Nightmares, Emotional Manipulation, Enemies to Lovers, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, M/M, Mello is 20 & Near is 18, Meronia, Warnings Before Relevant Chapters, timeline compressed, wammy's house
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:01:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 39,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25166638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gimme_that_pen_back/pseuds/gimme_that_pen_back
Summary: Returning to Winchester to choose a successor, L tries to make sense of his successor's tumultuous rivalry and grapple with his own unresolved feelings towards the Kira Case. As he develops a greater understanding of Mello and Near and their peculiar relationship, he comes to believe that  he can forge a rosier fortune for the title of L. In attempting to manipulate Mello and Near’s emotions to achieve an ideal outcome, however, L risks driving himself and his successors to the brink of sanity.Meronia centred.
Relationships: Mello | Mihael Keehl/Near | Nate River
Comments: 132
Kudos: 188





	1. Prologue

L sat in the back seat of a car in his usual crouched position, a thumb to his mouth as he contemplated the eerily familiar scenery passing by.

The reminiscent English countryside surrounded the car in all directions, sprawling into miles of frozen grass which stretched far into the distance before collapsing off the edge of the world. Trees and foliage scattered the agrarian scenery, condensing into a dizzying array of rustic blurs as the car passed them. Overhead, the sun was setting, casting a vibrant hue through the branches with an intensity L found nauseating yet homely - the glowing sunset a fitting indication of an ending era.

* * *

It was by the flip of a coin.

Winning against Kira, that is. Sheer unadulterated fortune let him win the competition.

When L along with the taskforce took possession of the Death Note from Higuchi and Light reached out to grab it, L instinctively knew it would be an ill fated action. Every inch of his second nature told him that Light should not under any circumstances be permitted to touch the notebook and bear witness to the god of death which stood before them.

Light swore he was being paranoid; the taskforce agreed. With no other option readily available to him, L was inclined to agree to a proposition Light had initially suggested only as a callow joke: Matsuda would flip a five-yen coin he had in his wallet to determine the outcome of their disagreement.

Heads, L would have full undisputed authority to decide if Light made physical contact with the Death Note. As a fail-safe, if L lost his life before he granted Light permission, the decision making would not be reallocated to the others but would instead deprive Light of the ability to make physical contact with the notebook permanently.

Tails, Light would be permitted to inspect the Death Note just as every other member of the taskforce could. His access would exist on equal terms to all including L himself.

* * *

The trees grew sparser as the pastoral country morphed into varying man-made structures. Older buildings preserving burdensome histories combined with modern buildings, unencumbered by the past and holding the future of this new post-Kira era within their constitutions.

The gothic cathedral loomed over all, casting divine providence over the town. L could _feel_ the cathedral before he could see it. Knowledge of its presence pulsed a dreading sickness deep through his body, resurrecting childhood fears and unveiling current afflictions. Knowing everything he knew now, the cathedral adopted an even more impressive stature. A monument for the innocent superstitions of his youth, it was now an unrelentingly agonising reminder of the vast plain of difference between himself and the figures of another realm that no living person had any business knowing of.

* * *

Needless to say, L won the coin flip.

Matsuda informed them that the coin landed on heads, unwittingly indicating that Light’s plans had gone awry. Light never regained his memories, providing L with the valuable time necessary to conduct the experiments essential to debunking the last rules of the Death Note. As the facts of the case slid into place, he made an agreement with Rem. Deducing that Rem had no love for Light but much for Misa, he offered to permit Misa to continue her daily life if Rem spared L and allowed him to place Light in captivity.

There had been a fifty-fifty chance of him living and dying. It was deeply unsettling for him; he’d been so set at winning a game of wits and it was somewhat devastating on an intellectual level to know that in the end it came down to chance. The emotional elements of the case only made the conclusion more unsatisfying.

Some of the taskforce remained unconvinced with L’s conclusion. The remaining task force members’ doubts were silenced when L, finally letting Light touch the Death Note, brought Kira to the surface. Kira, knowing his plan had been foiled, broke down in screaming laughter. The vivid breathing proof of Light's guilt broke the spirits of everyone in the room, most of all Light’s father and - though he would never confess it - L himself.

* * *

It had been so many years since he he’d seen Winchester. Only the direst circumstances could possibly have compelled him to pass through the snapshots of his childhood again. And those circumstances, he believed, were met.

L was distracted from his thoughts as the car slowly rolled through the town centre, passing by traditional buildings now owned by new corporations which didn’t even exist when he was a young child. L took his thumb away from his mouth to point at a building, which displayed a Tesco sign to say, “A Woolworth’s used to be there.”

“Yes, that’s right” Watari – or since they were back in Winchester, Wammy – replied.

“When I was a child, whenever you tried to limit my sweet supply to make me eat healthier, I used to take sweets from the pick a mix whenever I passed by. When I wanted to impress a boy I liked I took a handful of sweets and put them under his pillow. He must have been so confused,” L mused.

“Yes, you were a strange child. But I’m sure you’re a lot more grown up now,” Wammy said. L thought about the cupcake he had for breakfast and passively wondered if that was true.

* * *

L had taken some time off after the case, emotionally and intellectually spent. He spent weeks sitting in the same position, eating sweets with his eyes glued to the wall much to Watari’s alarm. Since Kira had been captured and ceased his killing spree, criminals felt emboldened to act freely again and crime rose dramatically. Despite the rising need for L to resume his place within the world's legal order, L couldn’t motivate himself to solve any of the cases which demanded his aid. Disappearing from the public eye, some news reporters began to predict that L and Kira had both lost their lives in a 'mutually assured destruction' situation of some kind.

When one day L was drinking coffee and looking at his laptop erratically, Watari had hoped he had finally returned to his old routines. But L was not solving cases. He had a higher priority.

* * *

L cast his eyes eagerly across the surroundings. 

New shops. New buildings. New kids. So much had changed since he departed from this place. Although, not all changes were bad, he felt the need to remind himself. For one, Wammy's House ostensibly developed its formerly uncultivated surrounding lands to make way for exquisitely kept plants and an especially beautiful rose garden. The new kids which occupied these grounds were supposedly even more exquisite, filled with potential. He looked forward to seeing all of it with his own eyes to make his own judgement.

“Do you think the new children are strange too?” L enquired. “Smart children tend to be strange.”

“I’m not quite sure,” Wammy replied. “I haven't met many of the children myself to tell the truth. Although, it must be said that Roger does give the most colourful reports.”

L smirked, indeed he did. 

* * *

Having faced such a strong possibility of death, L had become somewhat obsessed with his own mortality and decided it was finally time to choose a successor. Watari was somewhat disappointed that L was occupying himself with this rather then trying to return to his regular business, but he supposed it was better than L staring at a wall for months on end. And it wasn't like Watari had a vote in the situation anyhow, so he had no choice but to allow L to entertain himself.

L had narrowed the choices down to two potential successors a long time ago, but from that point he was abandoned at a complete standstill. Every time he thought of a reason why one should be his successor, he thought of another reason why the other should be his successor. It was an unmovable stalemate. Finally, he decided he would need to see them in person to make any decisive decisions.

There are certain characteristics that can not be gaged from files alone, no matter how exciting and colourful the reports on them were. And my god were they colourful: one of them read like the transcript of a child robot, the other like the rap sheet of a sociopath. No person is that simple, however. L knew he would need to find the humanity beneath the exterior in both of them to figure out how to proceed.

* * *

“Here we are.” Watari said, pulling into the driveway of the gated building, which still looked as grand as the day Wammy first brought L Lawliet to the steps of the orphanage. L stared with wide, dark eyes, determining that he would not leave until he was certain L would outlive him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Winchester is like,,, not that deep bro but I needed more words for this chapter so there we go. I'm not sure about the title or summary but uhhh it'll do for now at least? I spent the last few months working on this and there are a loooot of chapters (I still got a few more but I've got like 50 already so decided to just start posting lol).  
> Will be a happy ending at the end because happy endings are everything. Feel free to comment and kudos, they'll be very appreciated. I'm gonna try and actually interact with people because in the past I haven't been so great with responding to comments despite how much I like getting them. 
> 
> Note on timeline: so in this I'm compressing the time-skip so Mello is already 20 and Near 18 when this takes place (guess why lol). In this version, while most kids leave when they turn 18 not all do and Wammy's House provides higher education in exceptional circumstances.
> 
> Warnings will be provided before relevant chapters but emotional manipulation will be a key theme throughout the whole thing.


	2. Meeting the Successors

L made his way into the pantheon that was Wammy’s House for the first time in his adulthood, closely following the lead of Wammy as if he didn’t have the entire floor plans mapped out his mind.

He walked through the ground floor, which contained the common rooms and classrooms, offering the most spacious areas in the orphanage. The floor was dotted by the younger kids of Wammy’s House, who looked up at him in guileless confusion wondering who this strange man was who had been permitted to enter the secluded confines of their private orphanage.

Reaching the stairwell, L ascended to reach higher ground. The grand staircase had been renovated since he had last been here. Before, they were formed of aging floorboards and creaked under every step, now they had been modernised into solid marble.

Each floor was marked by a stained glass window, an echo back to the Christian origins of the orphanage which remained in spite of whatever developments had occurred since. Although the stained glass had been there since long before he had been born, he had never formerly thought it worth much attention. But now he found his eyes tied to the stained window on the first floor, portraying in vivid colour the original sin. L was so mesmerised he didn’t even notice one of the older orphans crouched on the stairs with a puzzle, or another watching him from ground floor with sharp eyes.

Making it to one of the higher floors, L and Wammy proceeded through an upstairs hallway. In contrast to the vast spaciousness of the ground floor, the hallways to the upper floors were claustrophobically narrow, with little light for guidance after the sun went down. A few of the orphans peeked around their doors to catch a sight of him as he made his way down the corridor, their looks taking on a more distrusting aspect than that of the younger children.

None of them knew he was L, of course. They only knew L as the letter and distorted voice which they were occasionally exposed to. It was, however, also true that these kids were talented, so he knew it wouldn’t take them too long to figure out.

Reaching the door, Wammy stood to the side, allowing L to enter first.

As the two entered Roger’s office, Roger immediately stood up with a smile and respectful posture. “L- Ryuzaki,” he quickly corrected, remembering that he had been asked to refer to L exclusively as Ryuzaki in person. He was already risking a lot by showing up here in person. Any precaution was worth maintaining.

“It’s a pleasure to see you,” Roger greeted, and he meant that quite literally, as this was his first time speaking to L without the infamous ‘L’ anonymity screen too.

“Good morning”, L said noncommittally.

Wammy, behind him, lightly coughed and said, “Ryuzaki, it’s 6PM.”

“It is?” L asked. “Oh my.” His schedule hadn’t exactly been great since the end of the Kira case.

“I’ve prepared your quarters, Wammy, so it’s ready for you,” Roger deferentially informed Wammy. “The top floor has been completely cleared out and converted for you, Ryuzaki. I wasn’t sure if you would be working cases while you were here, so I thought it best both of you have privacy. The children have been banned from the top floor.”

Ryuzaki crouched on a chair while Roger watched him perplexed, still standing to be polite. Ryuzaki apparently did not have the same concern as he took a handful of the sweets in a bowl on the desk intended for the kids. “I wish you hadn’t done that. I would rather not raise any alarms of my presence here. And I do not plan to work cases here. I wouldn’t take that risk.”

Roger stared agape and said, “Oh, I.. well, I apologise. But I assumed you wouldn’t want to be in a regular dorm surrounded by the other kids’ rooms.”

“Why not?” Ryuzaki asked blankly. “I’ve stayed in them before.”

Wammy sighed and delicately said, “What Ryuzaki meant to say was thank you.”

“What about the kids that were on that floor?” Ryuzaki asked as he shoved some sweets into his mouth.

“Some children will need to share rooms temporarily,” Roger explained. “None of the children high in your line of succession will be affected, of course.”

“I see,” L said, speaking around the sweets. “Speaking of my successors. I’d like to see Mello and Near immediately.”

“Straight away?” Roger asked. “Are you sure you don’t want some time to unpack or settle in first? You’ve travelled a great distance today.”

“I’m quite alright,” L said. “When you converted the top floor did you make room for an office?”

“I did,” Roger confirmed. “I can send them both up immediately.”

* * *

Ryzaki sat crouched on a spinning chair in his new office, spinning around in circles. He had to admit that Roger did a good job. The desk was directly opposite the door with a large curved window behind it. There was a rug in the middle of the room and two additional chairs for visitors, with bookcases on either side of the desk. He could barely even tell this had originally been a child’s dorm. Maybe his time here wouldn’t be too bad at all.

“This room is very pleasant,” Wammy said.

“Indeed,” Ryuzaki agreed, still spinning in circles.

There was a knocking on the door and Ryuzaki stopped spinning. “Please come in,” Ryuzaki said.

The door was opened by Roger who moved out the way to allow the young adults to enter the room.

The first boy to enter the room was twirling hair around his finger and holding a pack of dominos in the other. He was shorter than average for a boy of his age, and his strange youthfulness despite being a fully grown man was complemented by his white cotton pyjamas attire. Looking to the ground passively, Ryuzaki could not make out too much of his face and found himself at a loss in trying to detect any emotions. This boy must be Near.

Immediately following him was a much taller boy with bright blonde hair and an annoyed expression tied onto his face. With his thumb to is mouth, Ryuzaki contemplated whether something had happened to him or if this was his natural disposition. Clad in tight black clothes and particularly prevalent leather trousers, even without his face a very particular temperament was clear. Every aspect of him was accentuated with sharp bright eyes. This one was definitely Mello.

As Near reached the rug in front of the desk, he dropped to the ground and unpacked the dominos to set them out. Ah, that must be why Roger placed a rug there, Ryuzaki concluded. Mello stood next to him, giving Near a look that indicated with perfect clarity that he could barely tolerate his presence. It was too perfect. It was like he was performing his hatred for everyone around him more than for himself.

“Near, Mello, it’s nice to meet you, I’m Wammy. I’ve heard so much about you.” Wammy said politely, standing by the bookcase.

“Nice to meet you too, Mr Wammy,” Near said in response, not looking up to him.

Mello blinked a couple of times, evidently wondering what the founder of the orphanage was doing here. “Ditto.” he said plainly.

L smirked, analysing both closely with owl like eyes, rubbing his thumb over his lips in thought. Near’s voice was calm and soft, and his face was still concealed. Mello’s emotions on the other hand were comically easy to read. Knowing what he was thinking was just too easy.

Mello, noticing the man who wouldn’t stop staring between him and Near, looked straight back at L’s owlish eyes with his own icy eyes. Mello’s stare easily matched Ryuzaki’s in intensity, a fact he was impressed by. He looked Ryuzaki over unimpressed, “Who is this?” He asked, the question clearly directed at Roger.

Before Roger could respond, L quickly replied, “Ryuzaki. I would say hello but I’m tired of introductions.” He did not use his response as an excuse to stop studying him for a moment.

Mello scowled at the stranger, before rolling his eyes. “Looks like you’ve got some competition for weirdo, Sheepy,” he said at Near. Again, the annoyance seemed almost manufactured. It was like he was reciting lines from a play. Maybe since the rivalry had lasted so long it had become somewhat of a rehearsed routine for Mello.

L smiled scheming and waved to Wammy and Roger to keep them quiet before they could scold Mello or reveal his identity.

Mello was every bit as much of a biter as the files had indicated. He was quite exhilarating. Even if Ryuzaki hadn’t been L, speaking that boldly to someone in front of Roger and Wammy showed a refreshing level of defiance. He was a very intriguing character.

“You think I’m a weirdo?” Ryuzaki asked. “How interesting.”

Mello shrugged and gave him a challenging look. “Have you seen yourself? Yeah, you’re a fucking weirdo.”

Once again, Ryuzaki waved at Wammy and Roger to make them not say anything. He wanted to see how far Mello would go and would rather they didn’t interfere.

“What makes you think I’m a weirdo?” Ryuzaki asked.

Mello narrowed his eyes, clearly aware that he was being tricked into something but taking the challenge anyway. “You sit like a druggie, you won’t stop staring at us like a pervert from a sixties crime show, and you clearly can’t even dress yourself properly.”

Ryuzaki’s smile turned into light laughter, making Mello even more irritated and confused.

Near briefly stopped placing his dominos in their careful designs to glance up to Mello, allowing L to catch a glimpse of his face for the first time. Near gave Mello an ever so subtle smirk before looking back down to his dominos, his face once again disappearing as he said, “It’s nice to make your acquaintance, L.”

Mello’s startled abruptly and he looked between L and Near in alarm.

“Near.” Ryuzaki’s light laughter ceased so he could remark with a smile and a nod. “Well done on figuring it out.”

“Wait, what?” Mello abruptly shouted. Ryuzaki watched Mello’s face as mortified understanding crossed over his face.

“It wasn’t hard to figure out.” Near said casually. “An entire floor was vacated and in the next few days you and Wammy show up. It was quite obvious. Mello should have figured it out too.”

Mello’s face contorted in anger, before he kicked the dominos with the side of his boot so the design collapsed, feigning a “whoops”.

Near showed no reaction whatsoever and simply restarted placing the dominos. Ryuzaki watched in curiosity. Mello was mesmerising in his theatricality, whereas Near was mystifying in his secrecy. The facts of their files fell perfectly into place.

“I’ve been distracted all day. I would have noticed on any other day,” Mello said to defend himself, refusing to give the point to Near.

“Yes, I suppose you’re still upset about coming second to Near in the test results that came out today,” L passively noted.

Mello’s entire body stiffened as he said through gritted teeth, “Yes…”

“Don’t worry, Mello, this will not reflect badly on my consideration of you. I’m sure you would have figured it out soon enough,” L said, walking the fine line between patronising and encouraging. “But please, both of you refer to me only as Ryuzaki while we speak in person. If anyone overhears any of our conversations it is vital outsiders do not know who I am.”

Mello and Near both gave their silent assent, Mello nodding and Near continuing to look at his dominos as he twirled his hair in his fingers.

“Now, what was that you were saying about me looking like a pervert from a sixties crime show?” Ryuzaki asked with an amused look on his face, bringing a haribo to his lips.

“I-I,” Mello stuttered, bringing a hand to his head and scratching his hair. “I was just saying stuff. I didn’t mean it.”

Ryuzaki dismissively said, “Don’t worry, Mello. I am not offended. I quite enjoyed it. No one ever says what they really think about me,” a little sparkle in his eyes from the excitement of being insulted.

Realising he hadn’t said much to Near, he turned his attention to the other man. It was easy to ignore him and care more about what Mello had to say because Near was so unassuming in comparison; he would have to make sure he granted equal attention to them to make this competition fair. L glanced over him and asked, “How are you today, Near?”

“Quite well, Ryuzaki,” Near said plainly, like he was already bored of meeting the great L.

Rubbing his thumb along his lower lip in contemplation, Ryuzaki said, “You did very well on your tests. Are you happy you came first?”

Near uncaringly replied, “I suppose so.”

Ryuzaki hummed to himself in thought. Everything with Mello was right there for the eye to see. But something about Near didn’t seem to add up. Whatever Near’s ‘deal’ was, it seemed it was something that Ryuzaki would have to figure out while he was here.

“Ryuzaki,” Mello started cautiously. “Not that it’s not great to see you and everything. But what are you doing here?”

L lowered his thumb from his mouth, making sure to clearly elaborate on the importance of the words as he said, “I thought that would be obvious. It occurred to me that it’s time to choose my successor.”

Mello froze up and his eyes widened, almost afraid. Near briefly stopped twirling his hair, before resuming but slower this time.

“And here is where I stand vis-à-vis choosing a successor,” L began. The tension built for a few seconds as Mello turned to look at Near, before L slumped over depressed with a deep breath, “I have no idea.”

Mello let out a “huh”, and even Roger and Wammy looked a little confused.

“I had hoped that seeing both of you would make it clear to me which of you should succeed me. But I’m still completely unsure.”

Mello looked extremely perplexed, returning his attention to Ryuzaki. Near had immediately figured out Ryuzaki was L while Mello had insulted him. The first impression was so definitively in Near’s favour that even he was in disbelief Near hadn’t been immediately crowned successor.

“I may need some more time to decide. I hope it won’t take more than a couple of weeks but it may take much longer depending on the situation,” Ryuzaki explained. “However long it takes, I want to see each of you separately and both of you together every week until the matter is decided.”

Mello and Near both nodded in response this time.

“You may now retire, if you would like. Roger, Wammy, you may both leave too. I need to think.” Ryuzaki said.

“Come Mello, come Near,” Roger said, ushering them out of the room.

As an afterthought, Near turned to Ryuzaki and said, “Well done on winning against Kira.”

As Near and Mello left the room and the door shut behind them, Ryuzaki looked down to stare at the floor, “Thanks…”

After several moments brooking in the silence, Ryuzaki took a coin out of his trouser pocket – the same coin which let him beat Kira.

“Well it worked once before,” he mumbled to himself.

Head, Near.

Tails, Mello.

Ryuzaki flipped the coin, put it on the back of his hand and it showed him heads. Near should be his successor.

Best out of three, he decided.

He flipped it again, and this time got tails. Mello should be successor.

Flipping it a third time, he miscalculated how high to flip the coin and before he could catch it, it went straight out of the window. Ryuzaki sighed to himself, yep, that seemed about right.


	3. Initial Assessments

Ryuzaki promptly began his meetings with Near and Mello the next day.

Best case scenario, a simple assessment of each of their abilities would be enough to determine the better successor. It was unlikely, but not impossible. To test their skills, he planned to give them identical files which he had already solved and have them attempt to solve the case.

He first met with Near on Monday, deciding to provide him with a case file concerning a serial bank robber.

“Good afternoon, Near,” he called out as he heard a light knocking on the door.

“Hello, Ryuzaki,” Near greeted passively as he opened the door, making his way into the room before once again dropping to the floor to work on his toys, this time the white puzzle L had brought him a gift shortly before the Kira case.

“I would like to have you conduct an assessment, Near.” Ryuzaki explained, taking out the designated case file. “This is a case I worked on a few years ago now, but I would like for you to act as if this is an ongoing case.”

Near reluctantly raised himself so he could reach out to take the file. Placing the file on the floor, he opened the pages and started scanning it, raising a finger to twirl his hair.

As the case proceeded, Nears deductive reasonings were just as great as his files suggested. He quickly identified the prime suspect and even found clues that Ryuzaki himself had not noticed in the case. It was extremely impressive. If deduction was his only concern, he would have chosen him as successor with no hesitation whatsoever.

The downfall to Near was that he simply sat back and observed the facts of the case too passively. He lacked the motivation to even verbalise what he had noticed unless Ryuzaki pushed him into it, yet alone act on the facts before him independently. It was Ryuzaki’s proactiveness which had allowed him to apprehend the suspect so soon. Whereas Near’s lack of initiative and willingness to suggest risky plans meant it would have been impossible to order an arrest unless other bank robberies had been allowed to occur to tie the evidence together. This was a serious problem. What made it even worse was that Near didn’t seem to care at all. L could not be this apathetic.

“How do you feel about the fact that more bank robberies would have happened under your watch?” Ryuzaki asked.

“It is unfortunate. But it was the easiest way to complete the game,” Near said.

“You think this is a game?” Ryuzaki asked, raising an eyebrow. Near seemed to conceive of everything in terms of childhood toys and games, conceptualising every real life situation as a puzzle to be solved.

“In a way yes.” Near replied. “These cases are not too different from puzzles. It’s just a game with much higher stakes.”

“Someone died in these bank robberies, Near,” Ryuzaki warned, experimenting with Near’s reactions to see if imparting the importance of the event would instil any guilt.

Ryuzaki did not get the reaction he expected. Near looked up to him, staring at Ryuzaki right in the eyes for the first time since they had met.

“Lind L Tailor” Near said pointedly with no added context, but knowing that name alone encompassed every rebuttal he could give.

Ryuzaki broke their stare by guiding his own eyes away to the ceiling, as Near nonchalantly went back to the game on his floor. Ryuzaki was deeply unsettled by that reply, not that he wished to let his eyes show it. The Kira case was the only thing in his entire life he would consider himself ‘sensitive’ to. Losing his parents, his childhood, even the most gruesome mass murderers he dealt with weren’t a soft spot for him. But he felt something akin to a wound where the Kira case was supposed to be.The logical part of Ryuzaki’s brain advised him that Near was socially incompetent and autistic, meaning he may not have even realised much less intended for the words to be confrontative or rude. However, the instinctive part of Ryuzaki’s brain couldn’t help but sense a very real malicious intention behind his words.

“Near, you must know those situations are not the same,” Ryuzaki replied simply. “Lind L Tailor was on death row anyway. And his death was necessary for the case. More bank robberies occurring was not necessary if you paid the correct level of attention to the case.”

Near thought about it for a few moments, “I suppose you’re correct, Ryuzaki. They are not the same. I retract what I said, “ he said plainly.

Ryuzaki knew that Near could come up with plenty of refutations to argue that L’s conduct in the Kira case had actually been far more morally questionable then allowing a simple bank robbery to occur. Near apparently didn’t think it wise to question him on it anyway, giving Ryuzaki an undeserved win.

Given several moments in silence to think, Ryuzaki thought through Near’s words. Near’s remark and the maliciousness that laced them – whether imagined or real– displayed misplaced apprehensions but showed the exact emotional impulse that he couldn’t apply to the case. That passion was what Near needed; those instincts had to be refined. But that could wait. “I think that’s enough for today. You did well.”

Near without a word picked up his puzzle and left the room. No goodbye, no farewell, he just left.

* * *

He met with Mello the next day, with every intention of offering him the same case. Considering their rivalry, he could assume safely that the facts of the cases would remain a closely kept secret.

Mello knocked on the door and opened it straight away, not waiting for a response. Saying “Hello,” as he closed the door behind him, he strolled straight over to the desk with his hands in his pockets.

Ryuzaki smirked in amusement, Mello was still somewhat astonished by his presence and it showed. But he was also confident enough in himself to enter any room without requiring invitation. “Afternoon, Mello,” Ryuzaki said.

Mello waited for a look of approval to sit down.

Ryuzaki, being only mildly better with social cues then Near, took a solid twenty seconds of staring Mello in the eyes before he motioned to a chair and said. “Oh. Yes. Sit.”

Mello restrained from rolling his eyes and sat down. Ryuzaki explained the situation to Mello and handed over the files just as before.

Mello had no trouble being pro-active on the case. He spoke passionately about it, really taking Ryuzaki’s advice to act as if it was ongoing. He even got up and started pacing the room. He was inspiringly determined to take care of the criminal as effectively as possible when he made the necessary connections, he put in place a plan immediately to catch the suspect before another robbery could occur. If determination and willingness to act were the lone factors to consider, Mello would make a fine L.

But Mello was not perfect either. He took slightly too long to make the necessary deductions and missed many of the clues, delays which in a real case may have had disastrous consequences. And while the plans he prepared to catch the suspect displayed the necessary boldness and intuition, they were recklessly and dangerously set out. L must be able to deduce facts quickly and could not be this reckless.

Ryuzaki with his thumb to his mouth, lightly said, “Mello, I don’t know how to tell you this, but I’m not sure all of your plans abide by international laws. And I think your third plan would put us at war with Iran.”

Mello did a double look at the paper he was making rough scribbles on, “Oh… I guess that’s true.”

“You show a good level of initiative and I can tell you care. That’s good.” Ryuzaki praised.

Mello did not get too excited, inevitably waiting for the drawback.

“But-”

“Let me guess, Near did better,” Mello immediately interrupted.

“Now, now. I wasn’t going to say that. _But_ your deductive abilities could use some work,” Ryuzaki finished. “And you care – dare I say – _too_ much? I fear it impedes your judgment.”

Mello looked to the ground with his arms crossed, his pride evidently hurt. “I mean, maybe today I’m just not- ”

“You like to make excuses don’t you,” Ryuzaki said, immediately shutting Mello down.

Mello stood agape, not sure how to respond.

“People have limitations. It’s not bad to have them as long as you work on improving them. But please don’t deny your flaws, it wastes so much time, and it will make you a very bad detective.” Ryuzaki said exhausted.

Mello gritted his teeth together, returning his stare to the floor as he nodded. “Right. I get it,” he said, his injured ego turning into an aggressive determination to do better. To be the _best._

Ryuzaki smirked, he knew he had to walk the line between making Mello feel unsatisfactory but also assured to improve him. Make him too angry, he would lash out. Make him too confident, he would become complacent. Sparking a match right in between, Ryuzaki could evoke this determination from Mello at any point.

“You did very well,” Ryuzaki told Mello, “I would just like you to work on being able to make cool deductions and not lash out.”

Mello let out a deep breath, composing himself and nodding again. Mello sat back down, putting his elbow on the desk and placing his face in his hands, “Is that how you won against Kira, L?”

Ryuzaki paused for a few seconds, not sure how to respond to that. He was so consumed by the question he didn’t even think to correct Mello calling him L. “Yes,” Ryuzaki lied. “That’s exactly how I won. I would have never recovered if I hadn’t stayed cool and collected. Do you understand how important it is now?”

Mello looked almost afraid as he nodded, “Yes, Ryuzaki.” The weight of the competition and the position of L clearly not lost on him.

“You may go now.” Ryuzaki said.

Mello stood to leave, calling out, “I’ll see you, Ryuzaki.”

The door shut as Mello departed, leaving Ryuzaki to think over the preceding events.


	4. Watch, Learn, Mimic

Ryuaki tapped the microphone on his desk, "Did you get all that?" 

"I did", Wammy responded from his own desk, having listened to and recorded both sessions. 

"Very well, you may go now," Ryuzaki said, disconnecting the microphone.

Ryuzaki gave himself a few moments of solitude to think carefully before he raised himself to his feet. He went towards the door and opened it, looking side by side through the empty hallway.

Pondering down the hallway, he curiously threw a few doors open, revealing empty dorm rooms with the beds conspicuously missing having been brought down to the lower floors. He paused at one door he threw open, noticing the contents different to the others. This was not just a neglected child's room, this one had been renovated to create something akin to a living room, with two sofas facing each other with a coffee table between them. Behind the sofas was a wide window. 

It wasn't entirely clear if this room had been redesigned as a communal living space for the children of the floor, or if Roger had it arranged for Ryuzaki specifically. Either way, Ryuzaki was pleased with it. Walking towards the window, he glanced down and gained a broad view of the surrounding gardens. Wammy was right. The garden was considerably more beautiful than it had been before. He could distinctly recall the unkempt gardens of his childhood, which had been filled with weeds choking off any surrounding life. It was nice to see they had invested some time and money into improving the grounds; perhaps Roger's strange obsession with plants did have some benefits. The rose garden stood out more than anything. They were neatly and carefully preserved and by all accounts beloved by the children. 

Strangely enough, it was a detail regarding the rose gardens in Mello's file which compelled him to return more than anything else. He just didn't quite understand. What kind of edgy, competition-driven, hateful child would have any interest in stealing roses? That was the first indication that what existed in his files didn't quite tell a full story. 

Ryuzaki put a hand in his pocket and picked out his phone raising it to his ear, continuing to stare at the roses below. “Wammy, please come to room 462 so I can discuss Mello and Near with you. Please bring donuts,” Ryuzaki said, lowering his phone and shutting it without waiting for a response. 

Ryuzaki determined he needed someone to bounce ideas off of. The task force had been great for that purpose. Despite always working alone, he had quickly gotten accustomed to depending on the ears of his colleagues. It was going to be somewhat difficult adjusting to that loss, as much as he hated to admit it.

“Good afternoon,” Wammy greeted as he entered the room, placing a box of donuts on the coffee table. “Have you made a decision yet.”

“No,” Ryuzaki replied, letting his eyes leave the roses so he could sit down on the sofa and preoccupy himself with donuts. “I’m still not any closer. At all.”

“Do neither of them stick out to you?” Wammy asked.

Ryuzaki shook his head, “Near would be the most natural choice. But Mello brings so much that no one else could. Near is a genius. But Mello is passionate. Can genius make up for disinterest? Can dedication make up for talent?” Ryuzaki mused before he let out a sigh.

There was a few moments silence as Ryuzaki thought to himself, munching on a donut before Wammy politely coughed to say, “Ryuzaki, I noticed some things you said to them, playing all those mind games with them… I just wanted to warn you not to experiment with Mello and Near’s heads. They are not puzzles to solve, they’re just young adults. You can’t push them too far.”

“I know what I am doing Wammy,” Ryuzaki said simply.

“You share many of their strengths, Ryuzaki,” Wammy began carefully. “But don’t forget you also share many of their weaknesses. You sometimes treat real emergencies like puzzles or games just like Near. And you often act impulsively too, just like Mello. We both know more than ‘cool deduction’ was involved in the Kira case, no matter what you tell the children here. If you don’t want to get hurt, you’re going to need to be more careful and take everything more seriously.”

“Noted.” Ryuzaki said stiffly. “I am going to go for a walk to think things over.” 

“Very well Ryuzaki,” Wammy said, keeping his respectful tone through everything.

Ryuzaki left the room and descended to the ground floor. As he walked down the staircase, he saw some of the kids pause to stare. Word had finally gotten around that the new man who occupied the top floor was in fact the world famous L it seemed. It was fine. He expected them to find out eventually. So long as it was just people within the orphanage it was no terrible bother.

“Good afternoon, Mr Ryuzaki,” a young ten year old said, looking at him starstruck.

“Good afternoon.” He said back to them. He was certainly unused to this kind of attention, but it wasn’t unwanted.

As he reached the ground floor, he headed towards the common area, where the orphans tended to hang out after school on weekdays – or at least used to when he was a child. Times do change, he reminded himself. Children grow. Roses bloom. Woolworths’ turn into Tescos’. 

As he peaked his head into the dining area, with its long mosaic windows and large spaces filled with some tables, chairs and sofas populated by many children, he smiled to see that not everything changed too much.

He could see Mello with a group of friends at a table, while Near sat in the corner of the room on the floor still doing puzzles in isolation. L watched them closely from the doorway. Mello looked distracted, almost disillusioned and pessimistic. The passive sadness in his eyes disappeared rapidly, replaced by an anger as he very suddenly turned his attention away to throw a paper ball at Near, hitting him on the head. Near barely reacted, continuing to work on his puzzle.

But being L, Ryuzaki could see the mild subtleties which made him put his thumb to his lips in thought. The way Mello looked almost annoyed that Near _didn’t_ react to him. The way Near smirked to himself when he processed who threw the paper ball without needing to look. Both of them craved the attention of the other. They _thrived_ off the competition, it was their oxygen.

One of the kids at the table Mello occupied noticed Ryuzaki and nudged everyone else, everyone in the room gradually getting the message and turning to look at him. Mello was shoved by the boy sitting next to him- Ryuzaki thought the other boy must be Matt. Mello noticing he was standing there offered a casual wave to Ryuzaki and Ryuzaki offered a mechanical wave back.

Near glanced up in the chaos too, but was unique from all the others as he didn’t immediately look towards Ryuzaki. Instead, Near turned to Mello. Mello followed Ryuzaki’s eyes and startled when he saw Near looking right at him. Immediately, both looked away. Ryuzaki felt like he was being let in on a secret without a word being spoken, but one he didn’t understand yet. It was like he was witnessing a very carefully choreographed dance; it wasn’t since his own rivalry with Ligh- no, Kira, that Ryuzaki had witnessed a competition which was so perfectly electric.

He wasn’t sure what it was about this interaction, but it made something click for Ryuzaki. Near was cool with great deductive abilities, but completely lacked motivation or initiative. Mello lacked emotional control and the deduction abilities, but had high initiative and passion. In order to choose his successor, he was going to have to see them work together. He now knew exactly how to use the following day.

* * *

The next day came around, and now it was time to assess Mello and Near together.

Mello stood next to the crouching Near, occasionally shifting his eyes to scowl at him before looking back to Ryuzaki, both successors waiting for him to finally finish the cheesecake and say something. And he really was taking his time with the cheesecake, the silence between the three filled only by the occasional sound of a fork scraping against a plate and chewing sounds.

Eventually, Ryuzaki looked between them curiously, before slowly reaching into his desk for his folder with the new case he wanted them to look at. In truth, there was no reason Ryuzaki was going this slow, he was just curious as to how patient his successors could be. It was very amusing, Near sat twirling his hair and staring at a robot toy while Mello stood with crossed arms tapping his foot against the floor. Neither of them wanted to be the one to tell L to hurry up.

Putting them out of their miserable waiting, Ryuzaki finally placed the file in front of them. “I would like you to work this out.”

Mello and Near both gave him a confused look, possibly expecting that the reason they were called to L’s office was just for the obligatory weekly joint meeting to give them an update.

“But I thought we’d already done an assessment,” Mello complained.

“And now I’m making you do another one together,” Ryuzaki replied, not thinking he should be expected to elaborate.

“I am not working with him,” Mello protested, throwing another look towards the white haired boy.

“If you want to be my successor you will,” Ryuzaki stated with plain efficiency.

Mello sucked his lips together and let out an annoyed breath, “Fine. But I’m looking at the file first.”

Ryuzaki watched them eagerly as they worked on the case, and it was mesmerising how perfectly their skills worked off of each other. Mello’s motivation was infectious, and Near took this case considerably more seriously than he had alone. Working alongside someone else also triggered the competition in Mello, causing him to make deductions quicker. With their passions and perceptions combined and intensified, the facts of the case were revealed with extraordinary speed. When it finally came to the issue of apprehending the suspect, Mello came up with elaborate plans which Near then refined, considering the situation from every angle and softening the edges of Mello's extremism.

The only negative Ryuzaki could identify was that Near was clearly unaccustomed to working with another person, while Mello disliked Near so intensely it seriously affected their ability to work together. Near constantly kept details and facts to himself, and Mello was clearly only attempting to be civil for Ryuzaki's sake. Even _with_ Ryuaki being present, Mello couldn't resist slapping Near with the file at one point.

Once they finished their case, Ryuzaki had a wide smile plastered on his face. He now knew exactly how to utilise the rest of his time in Winchester. “I’m very impressed. You work well together.”

Mello glowered, apparently believing that to be an insult and not a compliment. Near as per usual did not respond in any meaningful way.

“Please go to bed now, both of you,” Ryuzaki said abruptly.

Both of them looked a little taken back by the very abrupt end to the meeting, but sharing a look quietly got the message and went towards the door, leaving Ryuzaki to his thoughts.

Waiting for a few moments, Ryuzaki listened to Mello and Near walk down the corridor with the faint sound of cursing and a shove, before the air was submerged in isolated silence again.

Ryuzaki pressed on the microphone’s button and said, “Wammy, please fetch Roger. I want both of you to come to my office.”

“Yes, Ryuzaki,” Wammy replied. “Have you chosen a successor?” He asked hopefully.

“No,” Ryuzaki replied. “But I now know how to choose.” 

A few moments later, Wammy and Roger both appeared in his office.

“It has occurred to me gentleman,” Ryuzaki began, knowing he should try to be extra polite to get what he needed to put this plan into action, “that neither Mello or Near have the abilities to succeed me.”

Roger looked befuddled, “But, L-uh, _Ryuzaki,_ you _have_ to pick one of them. There is no alternatives.”

“I didn’t say that, Roger,” Ryuzaki said. “Neither of them has all of the abilities to succeed me, but _both_ of them do. Near has deduction abilities beyond myself. Mello has more initiative then I could ever hope to have. That means they need to learn from each other; they need to be forced to be around each other so consistently that they are forced to adopt each other’s best qualities whether they like it or not. Once this has been done, I will be able to choose the better candidate. And he will be not only capable of succeeding me, but perhaps even surpassing me.”

“Ryuzaki,” Roger said, his facial expression becoming immediately stressed with sharp worry lines. “I don’t know if that will be possible. They despise each other.”

“I don’t need them to like each other, Roger. Whether they hate or love each other means nothing to me. But they _need_ each other for now. All of the qualities they have will be incomplete unless they learn from each other. Whoever becomes the first to adopt the skills of the other will be my successor.” Ryuzaki stated with absolute finality.

“How do you propose this is done, Ryuzaki?” Wammy asked, more open to Ryuzaki's ideas than Roger.

Ryuzaki reached down into the desk and brought out a pair of handcuffs, “Well in my personal experience-”

“No!” Roger interjected quickly.

“No, Ryuzaki. They’re not criminals yet,” Wammy said more gently. He was respectful at the worst of times, but this was _his_ orphanage after all.

Ryuzaki sighed and put the handcuffs back in his desk, “Fine. If you’re going to be like that…In that case we’ll need a plan B. There aren’t many higher education students here, so I assume they’re already sharing almost all if not all classes. Roger, I want you to instruct the teachers to significantly increase the number of paired assignments. And I want Near and Mello working together on every single one. And you mentioned that some of the kids have to share rooms now? I want Near and Mello to be roommates while I’m here.”

Roger looked deeply uncertain, looking to Wammy as if seeking permission to protest, but not receiving the look he sought reluctantly replied, “Very well. It will be done.”

“Thank you very much Roger, you may go now,” Ryuzaki said.

Wammy waited until Roger left to say, “L, please remember what I said about not experimenting with the children.”

Ryuzaki half-heartedly responded, “Yes, yes, I know.”


	5. Otherwhere in the Orphanage

Mello and Matt stood by the front entrance to Wammy’s House, watching the younger kids play around on the gravel of the front yard. Mello leant against the wall with a foot against the brick archway structure, bouncing a rubber ball on the ground so it hit the other side of the wall and returned to his hands.

Matt had his attention on a Gameboy as he nonchalantly said, “Come on, Mello it’s not that bad.”

“I came second to Near _again.”_ Mello said frustrated. “It is that bad.”

“You came first in the tests last week,” Matt supplied as a counterargument. Matt was right. It wasn’t like Mello _always_ came second. He would come first roughly one in four times. But that was still losing three times too many.

“Yeah, and Near came first the week before that, and the week before that…” Mello replied unsatisfied, throwing the ball at the wall too roughly this time, causing it to bounce out into the open and roll away.

“Are you going to sulk about this all day?” Matt asked.

“That’s the plan.” Mello said. One of the kids saw the ball on the ground and threw it back to Mello, who caught it easily and gave a nod in place for a thanks.

“At least you don’t have to share a room with someone,” Matt said, more concerned about his own issues.

“I guess being L’s successor has some perks,” Mello said teasingly.

Matt shoved him playfully and Mello turned his attention away. After a few moments, Mello’s attention was drawn back to Matt.

“Hey, hey,” Matt said, hitting Mello’s arm to get his attention, “Whose car is that?”

Mello looked over and raised his eyes, watching the well-polished and unfittingly fancy car passing the gates of the orphanage. “I have no idea. Who comes here?” The answer to his own question was no one. Wammy’s House was not open to adoption and actively put off most outsiders. The only people who entered were people doing manual work, and there was select men and women that the orphanage always went to for that.

As the car came to a halt, Mello saw an elderly man emerge from the vehicle, followed by a strange looking hunched over man with black hair.

“What a weird looking guy, any ideas on who he is?” Matt asked.

Mello shook his head. Knowing that the odd pair were going to be heading his way towards the closest entrance, Mello grabbed Matt’s wrist and pulled him into the building.

“What? Mello!” Matt protested as Mello pulled him through the interior of the orphanage.

“I’m curious. I need to find somewhere I can watch secretly,” Mello said. “Besides, you know outsiders aren’t supposed to see us.”

Matt rolled his eyes, “That was only because of Kira, and Kira’s dead now. And where was that complaint when we snuck out to the pub every week for the past year?”

Mello just shushed him as they hurried along the corridor. They reached the stairs and Mello paused, seeing Near perched on the first flight of stairs. Mello paused and glared at him in silence.

Near looked down at him, twirling his hair and blinking to let his eyelashes flutter in performed innocence. “Do you need something, Mello?”

Mello just scoffed and replied, “Screw you Near.”

Near just smiled cryptically and looked back down at his toys.

Hearing the faint sound of footsteps, Mello gave up on Near and dragged Matt through some doors to a classroom, allowing them to peak through the door and watch the newcomers secretly.

The strange hunched over man began walking towards the stairs, making remarks on everything that had changed. Mello scowled, an orphan who went here? Wammy’s House wasn’t the kind of place that people just returned to after they’d left. He didn’t know what to think. He couldn’t think clearly. All he could think about was that damn test and the smug smile Near just gave him.

Near silently moved his puzzles out of the way, making room for the two men to ascend the flight of stairs. He lowered his head, barely earning a glance from either of them. For better or for worse, things were going to get interesting. Near looked up at them through the hairs falling down his forehead with distrustful eyes, he would have to be diligent from now on, everything was at stake. 

Mello emerged from the classroom and watched the men continue up the stairs with sharp eyes. He made eye contact with Near once more, neither of them saying anything as they heard the footsteps against marble steps grow faint.

* * *

Mello came down from their first meeting with Ryuzaki, the worst look of mortified embarrassment on his face. He came to sit next to Matt at the table him and his friends were sitting at. Well, not really ‘friends’ so much as every higher education student at Wammy’s House except Near. “I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him.”

“You okay, bud?” Matt asked, taking a sip of coke.

Mello looked around and leaned in close to Matt to hiss, “I just called L a weirdo and said he looks like a pervert from a sixties crime show.”

Matt looked at him confused, “Urm, what?”

“L! The strange guy from the car is L!” Mello whispered harshly.

Matt stared at him wide eyed. “Wait, seriously? That’s amazing. What is he doing here?”

Mello didn’t answer his question and simply noted in a harsh tone, “Of course, Near knew who was straight a-fucking-way. That fucking bastard.”

Matt lightly punched his shoulder, “Look, let’s just take our minds off of Near yeah? _L’s_ here, like actually _here._ That is so cool! And you were one of the first people to talk to him!”

Mello growled. He hated how nice of a friend Matt could be sometimes. As much as his ‘friends’ tried to talk to him, keeping his thoughts focused on anything at all was hard. With L absent, it had been possible to attempt to live a quasi-regular life, but now that he was actually here in the flesh, Mello had a distinct feeling like everything would change.

* * *

Mello was only mildly – or so he said to anyone who cared to ask– annoyed that Near got to have a meeting alone with L before he did. He waited on the last landing before the top floor for the entire duration of the meeting, reserved within himself as he stared at the highest flight of stairs.

Some of the other kids also waited for Near, gossiping about what L must be like and how lucky and great Near was. Mello didn’t care to acknowledge them. The orphanage was extremely lopsided in terms of ages, and it was easy for the older orphans to feel completely drowned by eight-year olds at times.

As Near finally descended the stairs, the younger children surrounded Near, who uncomfortably didn't anwser attempting to keep to his own business. Mello rolled his eyes and pushed Near forward to make him keep walking down the stairs ahead of the curious children. “Hey, fuck off,” he said to the lone couple of kids still trying to follow and question him.

“That is unkind,” Near said blankly. Not a scold, rather a bland observation.

Mello rolled his eyes, “So? Spill sheep.”

“I had to analyse a case. You will be expected to do the same,” Near explained.

Mello hummed, he had a feeling that would be L’s initial plan. Then he noticed something. At first he thought he imagined it, but then he checked Near's face again and saw it was clearly there for Mello alone to see. Near looked almost unsettled about something. _That_ was strange, Near was never unsettled about anything.

Mello hesitated, not wanting to imply he cared, but eventually deciding to ask, “What’s your problem?”

Near slowed down for a second, before continuing to walk as he explained, “I think... Ryuzaki is playing mind-games with us. It’s concerning. I’m worried he will… _unbalance_ this place.”

Mello rolled his eyes, was that it? “Well duh. He wants a successor and he’s a great detective. Messing with our heads is going to be part of it.”

Near scowled at Mello’s nonchalance, coolly saying, “Well, you wouldn’t be concerned by that. You believe everyone is 'messing with your head' all the time.”

This time, Mello stopped, “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“Mello believes everyone does everything to bother him. Mello cannot conceive of people acting without thinking about him, and now he cannot identify when someone is actually attempting to interfere with his life,” Near explained in the third person like that would make it more factual somehow, continuing to walk down the stairs without Mello.

Mello felt a deep pit of rage and fought the temptation to push Near down the stairs. “I fucking hate you so much.”

“Mello needs new insults. They’re getting old.” Near further assessed with a taunt, shooting him the briefest of looks before he reached the bottom of the stairs and walked away.

* * *

Mello grew increasingly anxious about his own meeting with L. Would he size up to Near? Was Near’s weird fear that L was playing games with their heads real? He wished instead of getting irritated he had interrogated Near more. Why would he of all people be concerned about the orphanage becoming ‘unbalanced’? Near can’t be fond of how the ‘balance’ existed right now, which consisted of an endless stalemate and Mello picking on him relentlessly. Mello wasn’t sure what L could possibly do to make things worse for Near.

He walked up to the top floor and took a deep breath. Whenever he got nervous, his reaction was to be rude. He convinced himself that absolutely could not happen with L. So he tried to force himself to display some level of manners and knocked on the door.

When he finally emerged after what felt like an eternity, he wasn’t sure what to feel.

He couldn’t tell if it went well or not. He kept thinking about what Near said. Was L really trying to mess with his head? It was starting to seem very likely. But he also meant what he said when he asserted he wouldn’t care if it would make him the next L. He would try his best to take the advice L gave him in his stride even if L did plan on using manipulative tactics to get him there.

He descended the staircase, a bunch of kids waiting to ask him how it went too. Mello briskly brushed them off, but did not swear at them this time, attempting to take Ryuzaki’s advice on temperament to heart.

He returned to the dining room and sat with his friends, the meeting with Ryuzaki and everything Near said buzzing in his mind. He made half-hearted conversation with Matt, but found his mind drifting away constantly. He watched as Near entered the common room and made his way to a small isolated corner, sitting alone unbothered by his surroundings.

Eventually Mello couldn’t resist looking at his test again, as much as Matt protested that he got it days ago now and should just put it away. In seething anger at seeing the half point he lost that put Near ahead of him and his mind mulling over Ryuzaki’s criticism, he screwed up the test and threw it straight at Near’s head.

It gave him a temporary feeling of relief, though the dissatisfaction only got worse when Near hardly responded. “Now was that necessary?” Matt asked.

Mello let out a long breath, “I couldn’t help it,” he mumbled unhappily.

“Mello, it’s him, it’s L.” Matt said, shoving Mello and pointing to the doorway.

“Shit, did he see?” Mello asked.

“I think so,” answered Matt.

“Oh well,” Mello said resigned. He gave L a wave and smile, L smiled back and gave an awkward wave back like he was an alien that didn’t understand the concept of waving very well.

“Wow, L’s a lot like Near,” Matt remarked.

Realising what he said and Mello’s bitter reaction, Matt quickly said, “Shit, Mello. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-”

“Don’t worry, I know what you meant,” Mello said lowly, feeling intensely inadequate. It was true. Everything about L resembled Near closely. And he hated it. It was like the universe was trying to prove how perfect of a successor Near was.

Mello then saw L’s eyes switch focus to Near. Mello followed his eyeline and almost had a heart attack when he saw that Near was not looking back at L, but had rather been staring straight at Mello for who knows how long. Mello's heart beat increased tenfold in sheer anxiety as he looked straight into Near's wide, deep eyes. 

Mello immediately looked away startled. Why on earth was Near looking at him and not fucking _L!?_ Was this some mind-game of his own? Was he trying to taunt Mello?

Mello calmed himself down by trying to revel in all of the attention his friends were showing him for being one of the first people in the orphanage to actually speak to L in person. But he couldn't get Near's wide eyes out of his mind.

* * *

Finishing classes, Mello headed towards the stairs for the joint meeting requested by L. As he reached the landing of the top floor, he looked up and down the empty corridor. It was almost eerie. He often came to this floor to see Matt or one friend or another, and now all of them were being roomed on the lower floors. The world really _did_ move for L. That’s what the title meant.

He approached Ryuzaki’s new temporary office and rolled his eyes to see Near already there. “What are you doing here?” He asked Near.

“Ryuzaki requested us,” Near replied.

“That’s not what I meant, you twit, I mean why are you standing outside?” Mello asked again.

“I was waiting for you,” Near said.

Mello rolled his eyes, assuming Near was just messing with him and walking up to the door to knock and open it.

Emerging a while later, Mello let out a string of curses.

“Why is Mello mad?” Near asked.

Mello let the annoyance get to him. He shoved Near hard and said, “Just walk, sheep.”

Near stumbled but quickly collected himself and they continued to walk towards the ground floor in silence. As they reached the bottom of the stairs and Mello went to stand by a wall next to Matt, Mello began to feel a little bad. He always had negative things to say about Near, but he had always managed to restrain himself from using or even _wanting_ to use violence.

“Matt, can you give me a minute to do something?” Mello said, leaving his friend who was contentedly playing a video game.

“Go ahead,” Matt said. He peaked over him game console to watch Mello leave and raised an eyebrow high when Mello went to sit on the floor opposite Near.

“Hey,” Mello said.

“Yes Mello?” Near asked.

“So about shoving you…” Mello started.

“Don’t apologise,” Near interrupted. “I don’t mind.”

Mello scowled and, began, “So, anyway…” Mello coughed nervously. He wanted to speak with Near about everything, elicit Near’s concerns and express his own, but he was neither confident in himself nor trusting enough of Near to speak freely about his thoughts.

Near awkwardly looked up to him with hesitant eyes, evidently with similar apprehensions. “Mello…”

“Near?” Mello asked.

Near paused for a second and looked back down, “Never mind.”

They both looked back at each other hesitant and questioning, both wanting to discuss the same questions but neither wanting to be the one to ask first.

_What was L trying to do with them?_

_Why did any mention of the Kira case make L so uncomfortable?_

_Why did L like them working together so much more than alone?_

_Could they trust L?_

After a few agonising moments, Mello gave up and said, “I’m gonna go, later, loser,” but the words were completely unconvincing. Walking away with his back turned to Near, Mello felt the questions pressing hard against his mind.


	6. Assigned Enemies

Mello was at the back of his sparsely filled science classroom, unable to remove his attention from working out the intricacies of the competition. He unintentionally watched Near from the other side of the room as he grappled with his thoughts.

“This whole nemesis thing is getting kinda creepy, man,” Matt noted, watching Mello stare at his rival until it was too uncomfortable to not say anything.

His focus broken, Mello looked back to Matt and rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah.”

The teacher came to the front of the room and started to teach the class; if six students can be genuinely called a ‘class’ that is. God, Mello wished he could just go to a normal university. This makeshift higher education arrangement was quickly becoming ridiculous.

Mello forced his attention away to the board, raising his hand for every question which he got right with rigid consistency. He might lose to Near in tests, but Near’s social incompetence gave Mello a great edge in classes. The teacher had just begun giving instructions for the next assignment, which was seemingly going to be paired work.

Mello and Matt smiled at each other, immediately planning to work together without a word required.

Before anything could be firmly set, however, another worker at the orphanage knocked on the door and entered the classroom, whispering something to their teacher. As the other worker left the room, their science teacher awkwardly got the students’ attention to say, “Okay so change of plans, I’m going to be assigning pairs from now on.”

Mello’s look darkened. Why did he have a bad feeling about this? To be more specific, why did he have a bad feeling that _L_ was involved in this? 

The teacher set up pairs seemingly at random, until they came to Mello’s name. Just as Mello had begun to dreadingly suspect, they announced, “Mello, you’re with Near.”

Mello inhaled a sharp breath and threw back his head in frustration, as Matt laughed awkwardly with an “Oh shit.”

Near looked back at Mello, his eyes staring with lacklustre across the distance. Mello returned him a smile, designed to be so obviously sarcastic that even someone as incompetent as Near could not possibly interpret it as sincere. Matt’s partner came to sit next to him and Mello, refusing to move, motioned to the place next to him, letting Near know he would have to come over.

Getting the hint, Near picked up his bag and books, almost stumbling over. Mello rolled his eyes to himself, how could somebody be so incapable of handling the most basic things in life? As Near made it to Mello’s desk, a book slipped out of him arms and fell against the floor. Matt politely got up, leaning down to pick it up for him despite Mello’s offended look.

“Whose side are you on, man,” Mello mumbled.

“Thank you, Matt,” Near said, paying no attention to Mello's remark as he came to sit next to him.

As bad as things were knowing he would have to work with Near, things only got worse for Mello.

The teacher returned to the board to clarify a point, and when she asked a question, Mello immediately raised his hand to answer. But he was so unnerved by the changes abruptly made that he didn’t think through the question properly and gave the wrong answer.

The teacher uncomfortably said, “Mello, that was, oh… not correct.”

Mello drew the fingers into a fist and closed his eyes, he should have seen that coming. Why did he have to let his damned anger and impulsiveness always get to him? What he could not have seen coming was Near, despite having never said a word in any class they shared since childhood, raising his hand and not even wait for the teacher to call on him to give the correct answer, loudly and clearly.

Mello glowered at Near in sheer irritation in a way no one in the class could have missed it. Near returned a faux innocent look which only made it worse.

Turning to go through the questions in front of him, Mello began to work independently even though he had been clearly instructed to go through the work in pairs.

He noticed a finger on his exercise book as Near pointed to an answer and said, “Mello misread the question.”

Matt noticed the action and brightly said, “Oh, thanks Near I almost made the same mistake as Mello.”

Mello turned to Matt, and Matt immediately raised his hands to surrender.

“You are such a dick,” Mello said as he let out a breath, rubbing out the answer to correct it. Mello lifted the cross on the rosary around his neck and slipped it between his teeth. Placing the cross in his mouth had become a nervous habit from for whenever he was thinking hard or stressing about something. 

Near returned his look to Mello once again before he glanced down at his book again. This provoked Mello to no end as he snapped through his teeth “We aren’t working together, leave me alone.”

After a couple of beats of silence, Near said, “I’m not religious or anything, but I really don’t think Jesus would appreciate you sucking on a symbol for the instrument of his execution.”

Near twirled his hair and gave him an ever so subtle challenging smile. Mello returned a dead look as he silently let the cross slip out of his mouth. 

Turning to his book again, Mello faked a “Whoops” as he knocked Near’s toy robot off the desk. Mello added, “And it’s a symbol for Jesus sacrificing himself for the sins of mankind, so be grateful dick.”

“Yes… I can see why that would appeal to Mello,” Near said, looking longingly for his robot on the floor.

As the lesson came to an end, Near struggled to place the books back in his arms and Mello let out a huff. As much as he hated Near, watching this pathetic show was probably more agonising for him than it was for Near.

Mello opened his bag and in an aggressive sweep, pushed all of Near’ s items in his bag. Very begrudgingly, he also leant down to pick up the robot he sent to the floor moments ago, shoving it in Near’s arms. “Walk. I’ll put your books in your room and then we’ll go to the library to work on the assignment.”

“That is… unexpectedly nice of Mello,” Near stated.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever, just don’t tell anyone or I’ll shank you,” Mello said, half joking.

Near walked with Mello following closely after, but then Near stopped at a room where a young child was putting up posters on the wall and muttered “…How strange…”

Mello impatiently insisted, “Just hurry up and get to your room.”

Near awkwardly turned back to Mello, twirling some hairs in embarrassment as he said, “This is my room. Or rather, it was.”

The child, noticing Near, ran over and said, "I was told to give this to you. It’s your new room number.”

They handed Near a piece of paper, and Mello widening his eyes in recognition stole the paper right out of his hands before Near could even see the number.

“Son of a bitch!” Mello exclaimed. Heading down the corridor, up a flight of stairs to his own floor and down another corridor, he opened the door to his own room to see that the entire room had been rearranged. The room now tellingly contained an extra bed and desk. “I am going to kill him!”

Near, who had tried to follow after Mello as closely as possible and was already breathless, stood behind Mello. Near assumed Ryuzaki or the orphanage would try something like this sooner or later. It was the exact kind of meddling he was concerned about. “Kill who? Roger? Ryuzaki? Wammy?” he asked.

Mello turned around to give Near an annoyed look, “You if you aren’t lucky.” Entering the room, he dropped his bag on his bed, scanning his eyes over the space. He then turned abruptly to walk past Near, shoving Near out of the doorway in his rush.

“I thought Mello wanted to work on the assignment,” Near said as he watched Mello head down the corridor.

“Forget about it.” Mello replied bluntly.


	7. First Night

Roger was pretty sure he now understood the true meaning of perpetual suffering. Mello spent a solid hour in his office, taking up his valuable time and begging Roger to move Near to an alternative room.

It all came to no avail. Roger wouldn’t shift. He _couldn't_ shift.

“Roger, I am begging you, don’t make me share a _room_ with him.” Mello begged, still not relenting. "It's bad enough having to work with him, but at least let me go to sleep without having to put up with him."

“I am sorry, Mello. But it’s been decided. You and Near will share a room. It’s only a temporary arrangement,” Roger said.

“I don’t care if it’s fucking temporary. Everyone knows how much I hate him. I’m twenty years old, I shouldn't be forced to share a room with someone I don't want to,” He protested.

“Many other students are also sharing rooms, Mello. This is nothing against you or Near,” Roger exhaustively sighed.

“Then make me share a room with Matt! Or anyone else for that matter.” Mello suggested desperately. 

“I’m sorry but everything is already set,” Roger said. “There’s nothing that I can do.”

Mello calmed slightly as his fist fell limp. It was slowly becoming clear that Roger had just about as much of a say in this situation as he did. Changing tact, he asked, “Can you at least tell me why?” 

Roger let out a breath in defeat, “I don’t know what to tell you, Mello. The decision was made, and it will stay in place. It’s out of my hands.”

Mello crossed his arms and furrowed his eyebrows. Roger would not give way, but he also gave no compelling reason for why he would take such measures in the first place. That only further confirmed that it not only wasn't Roger's idea, but also that it _was_ L’s idea. No one, not even Roger, would be willing to turn down Ryuzaki.

What in hell could L possibly be trying to accomplish by making them work and live together like this? A theory came to his head and he firmly hoped he was mistaken.

Leaving the room in frustration, Mello threw up his arms to shout, “Fine. But if one of us ends up dead don’t say I didn’t warn you.” He now knew there was no point in continuing to argue with Roger. None of this would have any effect if it wasn’t Roger’s decision either way.

He wanted to go straight to Ryuzaki and beg him to change whatever plan he was concocting. Mello already knew whatever it was Ryuzaki intended to get out of this wouldn’t work and had every desire to let Ryuzaki know as much.

Although, he could never express these doubts so bluntly. Besides, the top floor was strictly off limits. The only orphans who could go up there were those specifically requested. Not even Roger went up there without invitation. Mello showed deference to no one as a rule, but L would always be the exception. He wouldn’t dare overstep his bounds where he was concerned.

Mello remembered that Near would be seeing Ryuzaki for their meeting. Perhaps Near could find out some details about L’s intentions. He wasn’t fond about the concept of leaving things to Near, but it seemed he wouldn’t have another option for now.

Mello reluctantly resigned himself to returning to his bedroom and hoping Near wasn’t back yet. It would be good to have some time on his own to process having to share a room with that fucking sheep before he had to face him.

Reaching his room and opening the door, Mello felt frustration rise to his throat as he saw that he would have no such luck. Near was already back to playing with his toys on the floor of his- or _their_ – room.

Shutting the door behind him, it was like the air of the room became more tense and real. He had never been alone in a confined space with Near before and he honestly didn't anticipate that it would ever happen. There was no background noise to accompany the rattling of Near's toys, only silence. And there was no other eyes to keep in mind every time he spoke or acted in response to Near, Near would be the only witness. It was unusual being around Near in a private intimate setting like this, confusing his mind in a way he wasn't quite sure how to cope with. How was he supposed to treat an enemy under these circumstances?

Mello asked, “I thought you had a meeting with L?”

“Ryuzaki.” Near corrected.

Mello had to clench his teeth for a second to resist snapping, “Yes, you know I meant Ryuzaki. There’s no one in here and the windows are shut.”

“You never know, there is no such thing as too much caution. And it’s better to stay in good habits,” Near said. “To answer your question, I did. I just got back.”

Mello stepped over Near’s toys and sat on his own bed. Damn, had he really been in Roger's office for that long? Poor guy. “Did he say anything about why we’re suddenly sharing a room and assignments?”

Near shook his head, “It didn’t come up. He made me conduct tasks focused on decision making and intuition.”

Mello let out a groan a laid back on the bed, “Goddamn it, this is so useless. Did you even _try_ to bring it up?” Mello asked.

Near replied, “No.”

“Of course you didn’t, dumbass,” Mello mumbled in response. After thinking for a minute, Mello hummed to himself, “I wonder if he knows that we know.”

Even though the thought wasn’t intended for Near, Near inserted a response anyway. “That we know he’s up to something? Probably. He knows we’ve been trained our whole lives to be the best detectives. Actually, I think he definitely knows that we know,” Near said.

Mello thought for a moment, watching Near out of the corner of his eyes, “What do you mean he made you focus on decision making and intuition?”

“He wanted me to focus on listening to my gut to make active decisions quickly”, Near said focusing on a toy very intently. “He also had me look at some moral dilemmas, and wanted me to make decisions on instinct. I didn’t like it. It’s not really how I work.”

Mello put a hand to his mouth, how strange. That seemed like a weird set of exercises to give Near to determine who would be a better successor.

Near brought up an action figure, pretending it was L, “I think he believes I lack passion and interest. Intuition too. And… I’m not sure about this, but morals, perhaps.”

“Well that sounds about right,” Mello said with a smirk.

“You think I lack morals?” Near asked, lowering his toys and looking straight in Mello's direction for the first time.

“I think we both do,” Mello said in a heartbeat. He hadn’t even been referring to the 'morality' part of Near’s guess. He was mainly referring to the passion part. He responded on instinct to the question, not really considering what he meant until the answer had already left the mouth. There was a long silence. Near had not resumed toying with his various objects and Mello had to fight to urge to let his eyes connect with Near's as Near's eyes burnt into him.

Well it was true… wasn’t it?

“I mean, we’ve been trained to succeed L and to revolve our lives around that primary goal no matter what. We’ve never had the time to think about morality, only doing what it takes to solve cases,” Mello tried to explain.

“I believe I have morals. I know it doesn’t always show, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist” Near said after a long silence.

Mello could feel his pulse in his throat. This was the first time Near had ever sounded… bothered? The tiny suggestion of reluctance in Near’s voice pulled hard at something in Mello. This was quite possibly the most uncomfortable Mello had ever been. God, he wished he never said anything.

“That wasn’t what I meant anyway. I meant the passion and intuition thing. You lack those,” Mello said quickly.

Near nodded, turning back to continue with his toys, pretending the tense moment before never happened. Near then said in a smooth voice, “Do you want me to show you how much passion I have?”

Mello widened his eyes and turned to Near, screeching “What!?”

Near turned to him again, this time with a playful smirk, “Kidding. I got you.”

Mello turned his head back. Suddenly he felt even more distressed about sharing a room with Near. “Great, the robot makes joke,” he muttered mostly to himself as he tried to collect himself. The only thing more uncomfortable than sharing a room with a robot was sharing a room with a robot that understood how to joke about sex.

He turned to Near again, letting his eyes trace Near while he analysed the action figure in his hands. “Do you use dolls as placeholders for people? You know that’s weird right?”

Near turned to his dolls, and instead of receiving the insult, rose toys above his head to show Mello. Raising an action figure, he said “This one’s Ryuzaki.” He then lifted a Sylvanian family sheep, “This one is me.” He then lifted a dinosaur toy, “This one is Mello.”

Mello raised an eyebrow, “Why am I a dinosaur?”

“Because Mello is angry,” Near replied. “This was my angriest looking toy.”

Mello rolled his eyes, “Sure…”

“They aren’t working that well, I think I’m going to make finger puppets instead,” Near said thoughtfully.

“I don’t care,” Mello said.

“Mello asked,” Near refuted.

“Well, Mello doesn’t care anymore,” Mello said mockingly.

Neither of them said anything else for a while. Mello got out his book to revise, and Near continued to play with his toys.

Mello held back the desire to make a snarky remark about how Near obviously cared about studying so much less then him, but held it back. He wanted to focus on his damn work. At least, he wanted to, though that didn’t mean he totally did. Unable to resist, he kept looking back to Near.

He wanted to ask him those questions. Those questions he couldn’t quite get himself to ask before and still couldn’t find the confidence to ask, but which still pressed heavily on his mind.

Half an hour later, Mello finally relented once again and said, “I’m going to bed now.”

Near didn’t say anything, neither objecting nor making any move to go to bed himself.

Mello still felt deeply suspicious with the other person’s presence but was growing too tired to let it prevent him getting sleep. And as much as he hated to admit it, the competition and Ryuzaki’s presence had unnerved him so severely that he hadn’t been sleeping well before this night; so much so that not having to sleep alone anymore was almost a comfort in its own strange way.

As Mello was falling asleep, Near said “I believe you do too.”

Half asleep, Mello hummed in confusion.

“I believe you have a moral code too. Even if you don’t see it,” Near said.

“Thanks…” Mello mumbled, hardly conscious.

Near wasn’t even sure if Mello would remember the interaction. He turned to watch Mello as he slept and smiled, twirling on his hairs.

He picked up a folded chess board which laid next to him, undoing the seal. Taking out a blonde doll in black clothes from among the chess pieces, he looked it over dotingly. It was his favourite doll. It was also the real toy he used to signify Mello.


	8. Refining Hate

Mello woke up and his face scrunched up instinctively. It took him a solid minute to process what was happening before his eyes darted open. _What the fuck?_

Near’s face was right above him, staring down at him with a blank expression as he poked Mello’s cheek constantly with his index finger to make him wake up.

“Is Mello awake?” Near asked as Mello’s eyes opened.

“What the fuck are you doing!?” Mello exclaimed, swatting Near's hand away.

“I was wondering if Mello wanted to begin our science assignment?” Near asked.

Mello groaned, looking at his alarm clock. It was 6am. He usually woke up at 7. What was the point of going back to sleep now? Especially since after that awakening, he wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to sleep again. “Fine. But never touch my face again.”

Half asleep, he tied his hair up and sat up in his bed, reaching down for his book aimlessly. Flicking through the pages, he offered some suggestions on how to format their work. Not too intelligent at this hour, he concluded that it was way too early for this shit.

Mello side eyed Near suspiciously. Near did not seem tired at all, even though he must have gone to bed after Mello. How did he manage that? Noticing a cup on his beside table, he realised the damn sheep had even taken the time to get Mello coffee. Fuck. Maybe Mello had to figure out how to have that energy. Maybe that would let him win.

After an hour or work, Mello left to get breakfast, still begrudging Near over his hour of lost sleep.

Matt’s reaction when he found out about Mello’s situation did not help, as he burst into hysterical laughter at finding out Mello had to sleep in the same room as his nemesis.

“It’s not funny! This is such a nightmare,” Mello complained.

He caught sight of Near ever so briefly out of the corner of his eye, sitting in the corner with his puzzles. For the briefest of moments, Mello felt almost… bad? Near could definitely hear Matt's laughter and Mello's complaints, and with his deductive abilities he had no doubt that Near probably knew that he was the subject.

Biting back at any sense of softness within himself, Mello added “What a brat,” as if it that would somehow absolve him of his moment of weakness.

“How was last night then?” Matt asked.

“As bad as you can imagine,” Mello said. “He’s so fucking weird.”

“Be careful. You don’t want him getting the robot overlord on your arse.” Matt warned in amusement.

Mello sniggered, rubbing his eyes.

“So you’re meant to be seeing Ryuzaki again today,” Matt said. “That’s cool, right?”

Mello shrugged, “Sure.”

Matt raised an eyebrow, imitating him “’ _Sure.’_ What do you mean ‘Sure’? It’s freaking _L._ How are you not ecstatic? You’ve admired him for years!”

Mello paused, a hand over his eyes still. Should he bring up his doubts to Matt? Would he be able to express all his reservations to Matt which he couldn’t express to Near? He decided against it and just said, “Yeah… you’re right. It’s pretty great,” letting his hand fall away from his face.

“So… wanna head out in a couple of days for a couple of drinks?” Matt asked, raising an eyebrow as he changed the subject.

“We’re on,” Mello said with a smirk. “We’ve got roommates now though, do you think they’ll get us in trouble for sneaking out?” As ridiculous as it was that twenty year olds had to sneak out to drink, Wammy's House really was that isolating. The need to keep the orphans hidden and the Wammy's House secrets preserved led to a somewhat puritanical obsession with abstinence from alcohol, sex and even outside contact. There was a reason so few people stayed in Wammy's House; the place was not dissimilar to a nunnery. 

“My roommate won’t care,” Matt said uncaringly. “What about Near?”

Mello looked over to Near thoughtfully. He honestly couldn’t tell whether or not Near was the type to get him in trouble. “I don’t think he would _try_ to get us in trouble,” Mello concluded. “But I also wouldn’t put it past him.” Mello reminded himself to not forget that Near _was_ competing for the same position as him. Mello shrugged, “I’ll figure something out. Don’t worry.”

Matt dismissively said, “Honestly, I don’t think Near would do shit about it. I wouldn’t even think about it.”

Smirking, Mello teasingly said, “And that’s why you aren’t in the top two to succeed Ryuzaki.”

“Hey!” Matt protested as Mello laughed at him.

* * *

Mello walked to the top floor at the end of his last classes. He braced himself to see L with a deep breath, before knocking on the door and entering.

“Heya, Ryuzaki,” he said. This time he walked straight to the chair and sat down. He thought carefully, he was going to need to find a careful, subtle way to bring up everything from yesterday.

“Good to see you again, Mello.” Ryuzaki greeted. “Today I was thinking we could…”

“Why has Near been moved into my room? And why have we been put together for all of our assignments?” Mello asked, blowing caution to the wind. So much for subtlety.

Ryuzaki put down the spoon he was using to eat a pudding of some kind. “I see. I was wondering how long it would take for you to ask. I expected Near to when he came to see me, but apparently he didn’t care enough to enquire on the changes.” Bringing a thumb to his lips, Ryuzaki abstained from actually answering Mello's question and instead asked, “How is being roommates with Near?”

“It’s a nightmare,” Mello muttered, crossing his arms.

“I’m sure it will take some getting used to,” Ryuzaki excused simply. “However, I promise the benefits shall outweigh the stress you are currently feeling.”

“You’re wasting your time.” Mello refuted, far more bluntly than he intended.

Ryuzaki raised his eyebrows and turned his full attention to Mello. Even Mello was surprised he spoke which such damning certainty.

“You believe I am wasting my time? Go on.” Ryuzaki pushed.

Mello shifted uncomfortably, uncrossing his arms and fidgeting with his hands in his lap. God damn it, no one made him nervous like this. “I just.. I-I-I mean.” He looked for a way to succinctly describe his thoughts. “Look… I hate Near. I always have. I’m sorry, but I could never in a million years co-operate with him as L-”

“Co-operate with him?” Ryuzaki interrupted. “What gave you that idea?”

Mello stuttered, “Y-you aren’t trying to get me to work with Near as L…?”

“Absolutely not,” Ryuzaki responded. “The thought hadn’t crossed my mind. There is one place for L. It would be simply impossible to have two L’s.”

Even though Mello had been vehemently opposed to the idea of working with Near, having Ryuzaki so quickly reject the idea was admittedly surprising. To any outsider they were the perfect team, even Mello couldn’t deny the optics.

“Well… why are you making us share all these things then?” Mello asked.

“I’m sure you’ll figure it out,” Ryuzaki said with a smirk, “You’re too smart to be confused for long.” Ryuzaki hesitated before deciding to throw him a hint, “Do you get much grief for being so competitive with Near, Mello?”

Mello nodded, “Roger has a go at me for it all the time. He says that a little competition is fine, but that I always go too far. I know he’s right, but I’m working on it.”

Ryuzaki smirked playfully. Liar. Mello had no intention of easing down on the competition. “Don’t listen to them.”

Mello stark blue eyes widened in shock, focusing with deadly precision. “What?”

“I said don’t listen to them,” Ryuzaki repeated casually. “I have no silly hopes of you and Near at peace; I wouldn’t want it even if it was possible. That’s just not what we do. We win or we die and we never settle. Don’t let go of your rage Mello. I see an intrinsic value in your hatred. I don’t believe your focus on beating Near is wrong or misplaced, in fact, I admire it. I’ve relied many times on an unquenchable desire to beat someone, and its’s an instinct that never fails me, and it’s stronger in you than it is in me. But hatred and competition is a tricky business, it must be handled with much precision and delicacy. Hatred does not have to be the blinding aggression you seem to conceive it to be. Have you ever heard the phrase 'keep your friends close but your enemy closer'? Don’t think of our lessons as an attempt to dull down that side of you, think of it as an attempt to refine it. I’m making sure that you and Near are in perfect shape to compete against each other with everything you’ve got.”

Mello looked and felt like he had heard the most profound statement he had ever heard. He was so happy, quite possibly happier than he’d ever been since the competition began. This was the first time someone had ever told him that there wasn’t something wrong with him for being obsessed with his competition. L must be the only person that really understood where he came from.

Reaching down to his desk, Ryuzaki said, “Now, if we can get to the _actual_ meeting I wanted to do today…”

Ryuzaki had Mello conduct activities calculated to improve his observation skills and logical efficiency, which seemed more attuned to Near’s talents. Mello wasn’t so fond of them; they were too plain and analytical.

It was exhausting, but Mello had to give it to Ryuzaki. He was a good teacher despite Mello’s apprehensions. He felt like he really was learning a lot. More than that, Ryuzaki was quickly becoming his favourite teacher in the entire orphanage. It wasn’t that the other teachers were bad, but no one else understood the way he acted and thought quite like him. It was like there was a natural unspoken connection between L and the people destined to follow after him.

He felt like an idiot for even feeling this way. After all, Ryuzaki wouldn’t be here for long. L would stay until he found a successor and in all likelihood Mello would never see him again.

And no matter what strange connection he felt to his mentor, he reminded himself to keep Near’s warning in mind. He was definitely right, Mello knew that now. Ryuzaki _was_ playing mind games with them. He was trying to shape them into the perfect detective, but in the most personal and manipulative way possible. He had a strange feeling that this whole ‘understanding mentor’ act was part of it, just because Mello was falling for it didn't mean he couldn't still be diligent.

He left the room deep in thought, obsessing over every word he had with Ryuzaki. How could he simultaneously feel like Ryuzaki was hugging him and slowly strangling him at the same time?

Going straight to his room, he carelessly let himself step on Near’s toys as he walked towards the bed and collapsed on it.

Near did not protest as Mello broke a toy under his foot and looked towards him lying on his bed. “Is Mello okay?”

Mello stared at the ceiling, “I’m thinking.”

“Does Mello want to work on the assignment more?” Near asked.

“No Mello does not,” Mello responded in exasperation.

After a long pause, Mello turned to face Near. After a couple of minutes of watching Near play his games passed by, Mello reluctantly said, “Sorry about the toy, it wasn’t on purpose. I’ll replace it.”

Near looked at him confused, not expecting Mello to even acknowledge the broken object yet alone offer to replace it. “It’s fine. It was old anyway.”

Mello got off the bed and sat on the floor a meter away from Near. He grabbed his notebook, and despite his refusals, absently signalled that he was actually willing to work on their project in silence.

Every so and then he gazed up at Near, until Near caught his look.

Mello wondered if Ryuzaki had said something similar to Near. Had he caught on to the whole 'keep your enemies closer' a long time ago, since he really was that much like L? It would make sense why Near was was so jarringly nice at random intervals. 

Holding his gaze for a couple of moments, Mello once again thought of all the apprehensions he wanted to talk through with Near regarding L. This time he had even more reason to stay quiet, if Near really was taking Ryuzaki's advice, Mello should absolutely not display any weakness or doubt to Near. But despite all his scepticism, this time Mello actually did slowly ask one of those questions which was at the very top of his head, “Near… is Ryuzaki trying to…?” He trailed off.

Near finished for him, “Ryuzaki is trying to make us more like each other. Yes.”

Mello froze, tapping his pen against his textbook. So that was it… He needed to beat Near by playing at his own game. “So that’s it,” he said giving a playful smirk to Near, “We know the new rules… I guess the only thing to do now is see who reaches the finishing line first.”

Near returned the smirk, “The game is on.”


	9. Miscalculated

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: The last section of this chapter mentions violent dreams and hallucinations of blood.

Mello practised the words L preached with precision. And those words meant that while he didn't have to like Near, he did have to tolerate him for now at least. 

Mello worked on assignments with Near and offered no further complaints. He would even spend his spare time with him, prompting curious looks from Matt and his friends. There was no doubt in Mello's mind that his sudden affiliation with Near must have seemed awfully inconsistent with everything else he did and said. But Mello didn't care. After all, his peers weren't the ones Mello was trying to impress. 

They did their work together, ate together, went to school together. The schedule became monotonous. In an instinctual routine Mello couldn't quite explain, he continued to collect Near's things from the classroom every day. He wasn't sure how the gesture became so natural that he didn't even need to think about it, but he sure as hell didn't like it. 

Mello hated that he had to do this whole 'keep your enemy close' thing, and he hated even more that he tolerated it much more than he expected he would.

From the routine, he had come to notice many things about Near. In particular, he noticed that he didn't sleep or eat particularly well. While Mello was sure Near never conducted his daily life well, he was also certain that it had never been this inept either. With his cold expression, this particular fault was the only slither of hint that Near might be vulnerable to the pressure of the competition too.

Most importantly, Mello could feel in his gut that it was working. Forcing himself to closely observe and mimic Near, he could feel his logical abilities strengthening. It wasn't a natural impulse quite like the attributes Ryuzaki had initially praised him for, but it was something. Was that what Ryuaki wanted? 

* * *

Mello and Near were both scheduled for their next joint meeting with Ryuzaki. This time, Mello and Near found themselves arriving at an empty office and had no choice but to wait for Ryuzaki to join them. Mello sat in the chair, sucking on the cross of his necklace in deep thought, while Near once again sat on the ground working on his puzzle.

“Do you think Ryuzaki forgot?” Mello asked.

Near twirled at his hair, “I don’t know.”

After another minute, Ryuzaki came through the door with a swirl lollipop in his mouth. “Apologies,” he said insincerely. “I lost track of the time preoccupied with other matters.”

Ryuzaki came to sit in his usual position and dolled out some tasks. Unlike how carefully he crafted the events for their individual lessons, this was more spontaneously created. He had them look at more files and resigned himself to watching carefully for signs of their progress.

In truth, Ryuzaki was stalling for time. The time Ryuzaki had set aside for organising the next step of his plan was instead taken up by an emotionally distraught father. One who was still trying to comprehend how his son could have committed a war crime under his watch.

Oh well. It was not an insurmountable issue. Focusing on their progress was what mattered and all he needed was a competent case file to achieve that. And he had… mixed opinions on that regard. He watched both of his potential successors closely with growing concern.

It was true that Mello had gained a much greater grasp over how to observe the facts of the case and calmly assess the situation. And Near had managed to develop much sounder instincts with a greater commitment to the task to accompany it. In that regard, Ryuzaki’s plans had been a raging success.

But the progress wasn’t occurring the way he hoped it would. And even worse, he was beginning to fear that his plan was beginning to backfire. Rather than complementing their existing abilities as he desired to see, their attempts to adopt each other's attitudes and mindsets were beginning to dull down their best qualities.

Mello, trying to focus on observation and caution, had significantly lost his ability to act quickly or intuitively. Near, on the other hand, was clearly struggling with how to balance reliance on gut with his usual reliance on cold observance, causing a lukewarm performance on both counts.

Although he provided them with a case file significantly less difficult than the one he had provided them with last time, this one had somehow taken longer. What went wrong?

It occurred to Ryuzaki that it was the moments when Mello and Near acted at their most extreme that they were most exceptional. Neither could accomplish that while they were focused on _countering_ their extremities.

He had seriously miscalculated something.

No matter. Ryuzaki would just have to collect more data from his successors and take an information-driven approach to altering course. He knew he would have to fundamentally change how he was approaching this whole situation, but he just couldn’t figure out how yet.

It was terribly inconvenient to have to rethink his initial conclusions. Yet the realisation that he may have made a mistake did not cause his confidence to waver. He was still certain that he would achieve his goals. Nobody creates a masterpiece after their first try, after all.

Ryuzaki sent the two off to bed, desiring to muse over the possibility alone. He sat alone at his desk far into the night, requesting Wammy not interrupt him as he desired complete solitude for a moment. 

One of them was going to come out of this the perfect successor.

The other would… well, he didn’t need to think about whoever lost.

* * *

Near woke up in the middle of the night, his eyes opening in a brief glimmer of expression as he immediately sat up and threw up over the side of his bed. Lying back on his bed he took a deep breath and stared at his hands. For a brief moment his breath hitched as he thought he could actually see the sickening dark liquid against his skin.

In silent panic, he scratched at his arms and frantically tried to wipe his hands. His mind gradually adjusted itself to being awake and he let his hands fall limp, having finally processed that his hands were not actually covered in somebody else’s blood. 

Letting his breathing return to a normal pace with the disgustingly acidic taste in his mouth, he glanced over to Mello and was happy to see that he still asleep. It was good to know that the nightmares were not causing excessive movement or noise which would be noticeable to the other room's resident. He was worryingly aware that he didn't typically dream quietly. He used to wonder if his body was rebelling against him for keeping his feelings on the interior while awake by externally expressing them at night when he was not conscious to prevent it. He had therefore been quite sceptical of the roommate arrangement, not desiring to expose any of his thoughts to another person which he himself couldn't face. 

Although, he could cross that bridge when it came to it. The nightmares he was getting right now were so intense that he thought it unlikely he would be having any good dreams or, even worse, those of the more passionate genre, for at least some time. Thankfully, on this specific matter even his body seemed to agree that it was better certain things stay hidden. Disturbed by what his own mind was conjuring, it seemed that Near's body rendered itself paralysed while he slept.

He got up in silence as he wore his usual cold and neutral face; a face that would never give away the violent dreams he'd been having ever since L arrived at Wammy's House. He left the room silently to get the supplies to clean his own sick up off the floor. It was not a nice task, but it was an unfortunately necessary one.

It was all very concerning. He was aware that the viciously vivid dreams he was getting were not a sign of good mental health. But he could never tell anyone. Doing so would mean explaining things which were much better left unexpressed for everyone involved.

Besides, how could he ever explain to Ryuzaki that he was having reoccurring dreams of brutally murdering him? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I actually created the last bit really last minute, even though everything else was written literally weeks and even months in advance so I'm worried it's a bit too jarring? Honestly this chapter was originally really long but I felt it would be better split into two leaving this one kinda short, so I was thinking if there was anything I wanted to add and the violent dreams was a detail I'd always meant to but forgotten to write so I decided to put it in here. 
> 
> Also I'm thinking of changing the title of this fic to 'Mello's Roses', I dunno I just thought it sounded cuter and more simple, but I wanted to see what you guys thought about the title?


	10. Misunderstood

The next evening, Mello and Near sat alone in their room. It was a slow day, and Mello lay on his bed tapping a pen against a notepad as Near sat on the floor playing solitaire.

Mello exchanged the occasional look in Near’s direction. This was such a nuisance. He had made plans with Matt, but he had no idea what he should do about that particular problem.

“Does Mello require assistance?” Near eventually asked, not needing to look back at Mello to know he was being stared at.

“It’s getting late, you should go to bed,” Mello suggested.

“It’s not that late,” Near replied plainly, continuing to sort through his cards.

Mello threw back his head in defeat before standing up, realising what he would need to do. Walking over to open his drawers, he pulled some denim out and threw it towards Near’s head. He’d hoped he wouldn’t need to resort to this, but here they were.

“Put those on,” Mello instructed. “We’re going out.”

Near used his thumb and index finger the pluck the denim fabric off his head, inspecting the jeans like they were an alien object.

Mello asked to borrow a pair of jeans from one of his smaller acquaintances at Wammy's House. Since he didn’t know Near’s exact size, (he didn’t have any normal outgoing clothes to use as a reference,) he had to guess.

“You must know I hate denim,” Near said.

“You hate all clothes,” Mello retorted. “Just put it on, you’ll get used to it.”

“And it’s past curfew.” Near added.

“Exactly,” Mello said, his lips sliding into a smirk. “Now I won’t be the only one breaking it, and you can’t tell on me.”

“I won’t tell on you either way, Mello,” Near noted in mild irritation. “I have bigger concerns than my adult roommate breaking a ridiculous curfew.”

“Nothing wrong with being too safe,” Mello said. Realising he would need a real incentive to convince Near, Mello knelt down to Near's level so that he could conspiringly say, “You wanna beat me, yeah? Well, if you want to do that Ryuzaki says you need to understand me better. This is a good place to start.”

Near let out a deep breath of resignation, looking at the denim in distaste, “Fine, but only because you asked me.”

* * *

Near would come to deeply regret those last words he muttered before he left Wammy’s House.

Following Mello as they left the building, Near caught sight of Matt, who was standing against the gate at Wammy's House's entrance and lighting up a cigarette. The moment he saw Mello and Near, he burst out into hysterical laughter and doubled over, choking on cigarette smoke. “Oh man, I can’t believe you were serious.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Mello mumbled unamused. “Get it all out.”

“Man…” Matt said, wiping a tear out of his eyes, “No offence Near, I just really didn’t expect Mello would manage to get you out.”

“I am surprised too, Matt,” Near agreed, tugging at his denim jeans in the vein hope that it would somehow make them more comfortable.

Mello rolled his eyes, “Come on, let’s just get going already.”

“Where are we going?” Near asked as they began walking, Mello in front with Matt and Near a couple of steps behind.

“It’s just a pub me and Mello go to sometimes,” Matt casually said with a shrug.

Near looked between them, “I’m not strong enough to carry either of you home…”

Matt laughed and slapped Near lightly on the back, trying his best to make Near feel included as he said, “Don’t worry, we don’t drink that much. Well, usually.”

“Relax,” Mello said, not even turning back to look at Near's face while he spoke. “If any of us need to carry anyone home it will be me carrying Matt.” He then quickly added, “And neither of us are expecting you to drink, sheep.”

“I wouldn’t either way,” Near noted. Peer pressure wasn't exactly effective on him, despite what his nickname 'sheep' might imply.

Matt noticed the pack of dice Near was carrying and asked in disbelief, “Man, are you really bringing your dumb toys to a pub?”

“Yes.” Near replied plainly. 

“I couldn’t convince him to drop them,” Mello muttered.

Mello slowed his pace, wanting Near and Matt to catch up so he could less conspicuously observe his companions. Once walking at the same pace, Mello watched Near and despite himself found himself fighting the urge to grin ever so slightly. Based on his reactions, Mello was pretty sure Near had never even left Wammy’s House at night. Near was glancing around looking a little bewildered. His innocent curiosity to see what the familiar scenery looked like in the dark was almost captivating.

They arrived at a pub and Near faltered slightly, “It looks busy.”

“Yeah?” Matt asked.

“It doesn’t seem wise for people from Wammy’s House to go anywhere busy,” Near explained further.

“Loosen up,” Mello said. “I always stay pretty sober to make sure no one takes our pictures. Relax, this is the kind of thing we’re trained to deal with.”

Near did not offer any words of agreement, but he didn't offer any further protests either, continuing to passively follow.

Halting his movements, Mello put out a hand to grab Near. “Oh, and here, my name is Michael Keats and Matt is Max Jervais, got it? You can be…” Mello paused to think, “What’s your initials? Your real initials?”

Near didn’t think it seemed wise to have that connection between their fake names and their real names. But he supposed the risk was what made it fun for them. And a single letter was hardly a great threat. “N. R.” He replied.

“Cool, urr, how about Nathaniel Reading?” Mello asked.

Near nodded. It wasn't like he cared. Whatever name he went by, whatever people wanted to call him, whatever derogatory nicknames people wanted to stick on him, 'Near' was the only label that mattered to him. So what did it matter what fake name Mello chose?

Near followed Matt and Mello into the pub and could immediately see why it appealed to people with their tastes and preferences. It was divey and even a little edgy, but still clean and well kept with a certain warmness. And from the looks of it, it was pretty popular with young adults, presumably students from the local university. The demographic and atmosphere were perfectly suited for sociable people like Matt and Mello.

They headed towards a table with chairs on one side and a sofa against the wall on the other. Matt sat on one of the chairs and Mello slid onto the sofa like they'd done it a million times before - and they probably had. Near followed less enthusiastically behind, sitting next to Mello on the sofa.

After barely a couple of words, Mello went to the bar with Matt, leaving Near to start playing with his dice alone.

When they came back, Mello slid a drink in front of Near.

“What is this?” Near asked suspiciously.

“It’s just lemonade.” Mello said, offering a secretive smile. Mello might be rude at the best of times and actively destructive at the worst, but even he wasn’t about to make Near feel bad for not drinking after he already pressured him into coming out. The small fragment of a smile he offered was his way of signalling towards that small gesture.

Any appreciation Near felt for the momentary kindness eroded pretty quickly. After not even a couple of minutes, Mello and Matt were talking and completely ignoring Near’s presence as he stacked the dice he brought uninterrupted. Whether he was out with others or inside Wammy’s House alone, it seemed it was Near’s destiny to always end up doing puzzles and games on his own. 

Maybe this wasn't so bad. After all, if the alternative was experiencing terrible nightmares, this experience fared just fine. Instead of sulking, Near decided to listen intently to their gossip. Near was beyond surprised by what he deduced from their conversation. Matt and Mello had a whole different friendship group with regular students of Winchester’s university; it’s like they were living a double life. They even had exes – _numerous_ exes. How long had they been keeping this up and what could they possibly expect to get out of it? It was one thing for Matt to pursue this alternative life, but Mello must know that these relationships would be deeply compromising if he became L.

Eventually Matt rooted through his pockets to pick out another cigarette and motioned outside, “Imma go smoke. Wanna come?”

Mello stood up, “Sure.”

Without glancing up, Near said, “Go ahead without me.” He wasn't sure they'd even have noticed him if he hadn't raised his own voice.

Matt and Mello exchanged a look before saying, “Alright. Whatever.”

They disappeared for a while. Near assumed when they didn’t immediately return that they found people they knew. Glancing outside the window, he saw his assumption confirmed – Mello and Matt were talking to some strangers with an ease Near knew he would never have. Near let out a sigh and looked back at his dice. This was very boring.

* * *

Once they finally left and headed back to Wammy's House, Near and Mello parted ways with Matt so they could go to their respective rooms.

Without any words being spoken between them, Near and Mello's footsteps fell in a rhythm against the silent corridors. Reaching their room, Mello swung the door open to walk inside, but paused to look back at Near, “Can you give me five minutes?”

Near blinked a couple of times in confusion, “What?”

“I just need like five minutes alone in our room,” Mello said again, before reluctantly adding, "please?"

Near scowled and before he could think twice, he found himself protesting, “You just made me walk halfway across town to sit in a trashy bar you knew I would hate. You think that was fun for me?”

Mello crossed his arms as he looked Near over, “Wow. You’re actually sticking up for yourself. I guess Ryuzaki was right, you would have never done that before.”

Near looked down towards his shoes. Was he really beginning to develop more of Mello’s habits? He wasn't sure how he felt about that, Mello's attitude was only appealing on Mello. "I don't think you have a patent on not being a pushover, Mello," Near said quietly.

Mello sighed as an almost guilty look washed over his face. He knew he was being demanding and unreasonable. Mello tried again, acknowledging in a softer voice, “I know it isn’t fair, but… please?”

Without raising his eyes, Near relented, muttering something about giving him a minute before entering the room and emerging a minute later in his pyjama bottoms with puppets on his fingers. “Go ahead,” Near offered, sitting down in the corridor.

“Thanks, seriously,” Mello said. Reluctantly pausing at the door, Mello slowly said, “Listen, I’m really sorry I made you come out with us. I know that it really sucked for you. I won’t do it again, I promise.”

Near didn’t give any response, looking at the puppets as he heard the door close. Looking up at the shut door with a longing smirk, he decided he would give Mello longer than five minutes, half an hour to an hour maybe. That was probably enough time for Mello to do whatever he wanted to do and get to sleep without worrying about Near. It would also mean Near wouldn't need to worry about falling into nightmares while Mello was present, so it was a net benefit for all, he supposed.

“Near?” A voice echoed down the hallway.

Near, without looking up to face the source of the voice, replied, “Hello, Ryuzaki.”

“What are you doing out here?” Ryuzaki asked, his footsteps becoming louder and closer until he stood just in front of Near.

“Am I going to get into trouble for breaking curfew?” Near asked, not answering the question. Ryuzaki wasn't the only one skilled at evading questions.

“I suppose I don’t have to tell anyone, so no,” Ryuzaki said.

“Thank you,” Near said quietly with a tone of insincerity.

“Are those supposed to be us?” Ryuzaki asked crouching on the floor to lower himself to Near’s level. 

Ryuzaki knew that gaining a better understanding of Mello and Near would be essential to rearranging his plans. Becoming more familiar with Near, who was the more unknown and confounding of his successors, seemed like a good place to start.

Near nodded, referencing the relevant half-unfinished finger puppet by bending each finger respectfully as he said, "Mello, myself, and you."

Ryuzaki turned his attention away and thoughtfully pressed a finger against Near and Mello’s door, “Is this your room?”

“It is,” Near confirmed.

Ryuzaki brought the hand away to trace over his mouth, "I see, how very interesting.” He turned to Near, “Did I ever tell you that this was my room as a child too?”

Near didn’t respond to Ryuzaki's comment. He knew very well that Near couldn't have known.

Ryuzaki inspected Near’s face for a moment before asking, “Near, why do you want to be L?”

Near looked up at him a bit confused, “I do not understand, Ryuzaki.”

“Mello cares deeply about the title, but I’ve heard you show little enthusiasm for the prospect of being L. Do you want it?”

Near twirled his hair, looking to the finger puppet of L. “L is the objective of the puzzle. Of course I want it.”

Ryuzaki was quiet for a few moments. Near’s words were still revealing nothing, toned with a disinterest like he was just saying what Ryuzaki expected to hear. This position gave Ryuzaki a better view of Near's face, but he still wasn't detecting any revealing expressions. Changing tact, he abruptly asked, “Why ‘Near?’”

“What?” Near asked. There was the tiny briefest flicker of something in Near's eyes, but it was gone before Ryuzaki could consider what it meant. Ah. That was something.

“Every orphan at Wammy’s House gets to pick their own name. Sometimes it’s based on a skill or personality trait; Mello is obviously an ironic take on his lack of mellowness. Others prefer to go by classic English names, like Matt or Linda. But ‘Near’? As in… the preposition? What does it mean?”

Near looked at Ryuzaki as if he was being silly to even ask, “It is a word that begins with the same letter as my first name. That is the only purpose.”

Ryuzaki stared deep into Near’s unflinching eyes, looking for a hint but receiving nothing. “You perplex me, Near…”

“I don’t see why,” Near said. “We’re very much alike.”

Ryuzaki hummed. He had to agree with that. But understanding his strange mannerisms and unusual attitude wasn’t what he meant. It wasn’t the skin-level things that Ryuzaki misunderstood. The clothing choices, the way he sat, his obsession with puzzles, those were all the things he understood perfectly. It was the deeper things he was at a loss for. He didn’t understand what Near hoped to get out of anything he did. He didn’t know why Near wanted to be L. He didn’t even know why Near went by the name Near.

Despite sharing all of Near’s strange mannerisms, he found himself relating far more with Mello when it came to that deeper level. Mello's heart was an open book, and it was easy for Ryuzaki to see and understand quite unlike his younger successor.

“I suppose that’s true." Ryuzaki said instead of arguing against him. "I have some cards on me if you’d like to play?” Near nodded and took off the finger puppets as Ryuzaki took a pack of cards out of his pocket and dolled them out.

Ryuzaki decided he was unlikely to get anything out of Near at this moment. He would have to find a better time to detect Near's true nature. But just as he gave in to defeat, Near asked from behind his fan of cards, “Ryuzaki, are people like us just meant to be alone? Are we just meant to never really understand other people and to always be misunderstood by others?”

Ryuzaki looked at him, surprised he would ask such a thing so openly after concealing his feelings so adamantly. “I didn’t think it bothered you.”

“Does it _not_ bother you?” Near asked.

Ryuzaki didn’t reply. How could he reply to that? Eventually, he instead decided to answer the first question, “Yes. People like us are always alone. But that’s the only way L can exist anyway. We can’t and we shouldn’t be close to people.”

Near stared down at his cards blankly, but Ryuzaki sensed he was bothered. His face faltered too undeniably for Ryuzaki to not notice. 

He wished he had the words to reassure Near, but those words didn’t exist. Ryuzaki was willing to tell almost any lie to get what he wanted, but lying about this was something even he wasn’t willing to do. Why did admitting the lonely nature of L bother him? It never had before. He'd always enjoyed the solitude.

Although he intended to learn more about Near for the sole purpose of L, he felt a strange new _personal_ obligation to help Near with whatever problem prompted his unusual question. The smallest part of him wanted to reach out to hug his younger successor in a notion of sympathy and reassurance he had never felt for anyone except Wammy. He wondered if there was any solution to his successor dilemma which could ease and not worsen Near's problem, but unfortunately such a solution was not readily apparent. At least he was getting a little bit closer to finding out what was going on with Near on that deeper, more fundamental level.

“Do you have any nine’s?” Ryuzaki asked, looking back down at his cards.


	11. Lingering Stares

With the new week, it was to all participants involved like the night in that hazy pub never happened.

That was by design, of course. Maintaining that small fragment of a life Mello would never have required a degree of forgetfulness once he returned to these walls.

After another set of intensive classes, Matt and Mello sat opposite each other at a table in the common room during their brief lunch break.

“Damn, I get that Ryuzaki's the only person in the world as obsessed with the dumb competition as you are, but did he have to change how _everyone’s_ grades are marked? I’m sick of paired assignments already, man.” Matt whined, trying to drown his sorrows in an old handheld console game.

“How do you think I feel?” Mello complained in turn. Matt may dislike working in pairs, but at least _his_ pair didn't involve his nemesis.

Mello looked over to Near, who sat on the ground by a lego building looking at his now completed finger puppets. Near's presence was damn near suffocating these days. Not in a physical sense. Sure, Mello was forced to be around Near more than he could ever be comfortable with, but what he hated more was that even when he finally got away from Near, he couldn’t completely stop himself from _thinking_ about Near. His obsessive thinking about Near wasn't exactly a new development, but it had never before been this impossible to ignore or deny.

Always too observant to let any attention slip by unnoticed, Near turned to face Mello. Their eyes met in a curious gaze and they maintained eye contact for several seconds, this time neither immediately breaking the connection. Thoughtfully looking into Near's doey eyes, Mello considered the fact that Near was the only person in the world who understood his position. The only one who understood the pressure and painful intensity of what they were going through as L's successors. 

Realising in discomfort that looking into the eyes of his mortal enemy with ease was not normal, Mello abruptly tore his eyes away to look at Matt, “Hey Matt, wanna go for a walk?”

“Nah, I’m good,” Matt said, deep into a video game and thoroughly oblivious to his friend’s distress. 

Mello grimaced and said, “Fine. See you later then.”

As Mello stood and turned to leave the room, he tried to not wonder whether Near was still looking at him - he failed.

Exiting into the back garden of the orphanage, he took a long breath to calm his nerves. He began to walk aimlessly, trying to clear his mind with no path mapped out. He noticed a couple of birds on a tree branch, chirping happily and oblivious to any worldly problems. Mello followed them with his eyes as they departed from the branch and flew around the old building. As his sight passed the building, he found his gaze fixed to the top floor of the building where Ryuzaki resided, all intentions of watching the birds lost.

Mello let out a defeated sigh; as if he could ever clear his mind in this godless place. Turning away from the sky to observe his more immediate surroundings, Mello stopped and silently swore at himself. Once again, Mello found himself standing right in front of the rose garden. Every damn time. Walking here hadn't been intentional, it never was. His feet just gravitated towards them no matter how listless he wanted to be.

Reaching out, he held one of the roses in his palm, being careful to not pluck the rose from its stem which threaded through the gap between his index and middle finger. Mello grazed his thumb over the petals, feeling the delicate softness. There were millions of roses in all directions, but Mello could still remember the day when the first rose bloomed. The memory made him want to smell the roses and smile. The memory made him want to burn them to the fucking ground.

Mello settled for gently caressing the petals with a despondent lingering stare.

“Thinking about something?” A voice asked behind him.

Mello jumped around startled, letting go of the rose which returned to its place among the multitude. As he turned, he found himself facing Ryuzaki, who Mello hoped could not detect the violence and tenderness he felt towards the innocuous flowers. In a panic, Mello asked “Ryuzaki? What are you doing here?”

"Tut tut. My dear Mello, this is why you must work on making cool and focused deductions. You should have noticed I was here.” Ryuzaki playfully scolded, a light smirk letting Mello know he didn't have to take it too seriously.

“I was distracted,” Mello said, so quiet he wasn't sure he actually said it.

Ryuzaki hummed, looking pointedly towards the roses. “Anything I can help with?”

“No.” Mello replied bluntly to his mentor, forgetting for a moment that Ryuzaki never answered his question. Ryuzaki was awfully good at evading questions.

Ryuzaki put his thumb to his lips in thought, staring at the roses before returning his look to Mello and smiling to say, “Let’s get some tea. I would like to get to know more about you.”

Mello stuttered, “I-I have classes.”

“I can excuse you,” Ryuzaki said dismissively. “Come along, Mello.”

Not being offered much choice, Mello was led by Ryuzaki to the top floor. A bunch of the kids watched in curiosity, and Mello found a certain level of pride in knowing that it was him rather than Near who was seen accompanying L.

Ryuzaki did not lead Mello to his usual office, but instead to the miniature living room he had previously discovered.

Mello looked around carefully as he entered the room, walking to sit down on one of the sofas as L crouched on the other. Tracing a finger over the dining table which was placed between them, Mello faintly wondered how much money Roger spent to impress L.

Turning away from the furniture, Mello drew his attention towards the window. His eyes immediately focused on the sight; the view from this room was indescribably vivid. He never knew there was a room in this building which provided such an alluring view. Hell, he didn't realise a view like this existed in Winchester.

“Something caught your interest?” Ryuzaki asked.

Mello crossed his legs and adopted a sterner expression, embarrassed that his emotional reaction to looking outside of the window must have been obvious. “There’s just a nice view from this room." Without thinking twice, Mello added, "I like that... you can see the roses." He immediately felt dread over every inch of his skin. He hadn't meant to mention those damned roses. It was just so heavy in his mind that the words effortlessly flowed out.

“Do you like the rose garden?” Ryuzaki prodded, eyes lightening up as his attention piqued. 

Wammy came in with two cups and poured them each tea in china cups. Mello swallowed and smiled at Wammy, it was a little strange being _served_ by the guy who literally made the orphanage they were sitting in. The title of L was such a power trip.

“I like roses,” Mello reluctantly agreed, all while knowing exactly what Ryuzaki must have read in his files. “I loved them when I was younger. But I wasn't special. Most of the kids did.” Mello watched Wammy as he left the room to distract himself from Ryuzaki's stare.

“Ah yes,” Ryuzaki said. “If I've been correctly informed, ten years ago there was a problem with one of the children stealing the roses from the garden.”

Returning his attention to Ryuzaki instantly, Mello scowled intently. “That wasn't me, I didn't do anything.” He retorted harshly, realising with regret less than a moment after that his response came far too precipitously to sound accurate or trustworthy.

“I didn’t mean to imply so,” Ryuzaki assured with a calm voice, but the implication in his statement was clear. He had read the files after all. Putting countless sugars into the tea, Ryuzaki added, “I only meant to suggest that many of the children seem to like the roses. And I can see why.”

Wammy then came back into the room with two cakes, a chocolate cake for Mello and a Victoria sponge cake for Ryuzaki.

“I heard you like chocolate,” Ryuzaki explained, letting the subject of the roses be prematurely dropped. As much as he would like to question Mello further, he didn't think it wise to push Mello too far while he was so defensive on the subject.

“I do. Thank you, Ryuzaki.” Mello said. Lowering his look to Ryuzaki’s tea and cake, Mello added, “You look like you have a pretty strong sweet tooth in general." Mello couldn't help but wonder how the tea was even drinkable.

“I suppose that’s a fair assessment,” Ryuzaki said, taking a bite of cake and washing it down with the unseemly sweet tea.

Mello looked outside of the window again, the sun was probably going to set soon. “The sunset must be so beautiful from here,” Mello noted. 

“You’re welcome to stay until the sun goes down, if you would like,” Ryuzaki offered Mello with a thumb pressed conspicuously against his smile.

“Really? Thanks...” Mello said, smirking ever so slightly.

“You like things that are beautiful then?” Ryuzaki asked. 

“I thought everyone does.” Mello replied obviously.

“I suppose that’s true,” Ryuzaki agreed absently. “I’ve seen many beautiful things in my life.” He looked outside and tried to perceive of the surroundings as Mello did, conceding “I have to agree that this is one of the more beautiful things.”

Mello turned back to Ryuzaki with an anxious look. With his pulse beating steadily in his throat, Mello asked “Was Kira beautiful? Before you had him executed, that is.”

Ryuzaki’s eyes widened as his expression morphed into something unfamiliar, and the look he gave Mello completely threw him off. Mello breathed deeply, digging his nails into the skin of his palm as he half anticipated Ryuzaki telling him to leave immediately.

What he was not expecting was the answer he was given.

“Kira… is the most beautiful thing.” Ryuzaki brought the tea to his mouth, any unfamiliar expression lost as his usual disinterest settled in with a sip of his tea. “Never talk to me about Kira ever again. Do you understand me?” He then calmly warned. It was not quite a threat, but it wasn't quite the casual suggestion his tone implied it was either.

Mello nodded without giving a verbal response. His heart was racing. What happened in the Kira case that was so bad it would affect him like this?

Mello felt like such an idiot. By speaking so impulsively, he closed himself off from discussing Kira with L quite possibly forever. The Kira case was the hardest he'd ever closed, and thanks to Mello’s impulsive words, he had lost all ability to question L on it. Of course, he could always look at the actual file, but it wouldn’t quite be the same.

It was strange in a way that just didn't make much sense to Mello. Kira's arrest should have been the proudest moment of L’s career. But whenever the case was brought up, Ryuzaki looked like he couldn't bear his name.

Smiling, Ryuzaki turned back to Mello and, as if reading his mind, said, “Don’t worry little one. The file will tell you all you need to know, anything else is superfluous.”

Mello uncomfortably shifted at being referred to as “little one” – he was _twenty_ years old, not ten – but he made an effort to not display any reaction.

Ryuzaki swiftly moved on, not allowing the subject to dwell a moment longer. Until sunset, Ryuzaki talked aimlessly to Mello about other lighter subjects. He went over many of his past cases and told Mello about the little lessons he’d learnt along the way. He then allowed Mello to speak about himself. After all, while he wanted to teach Mello about L, he also had to _learn_ from Mello to know how to perfect his successor.

As Mello went on a little rant about his day, Ryuzaki had to admit he was genuinely getting attached to Mello. He was so passionate and enthusiastic, and he was actually fun to speak to which was a lot for Ryuzaki - he didn’t get to meet many _fun_ people.

But then Ryuzaki’s optimism dropped, falling hard against a cold surface without a moments notice. It felt exactly like waking up after falling in a dream.

The way Mello knew exactly how to talk to people, the way he sat carefree, the vast questionable means he would go to in order to get to the result… If only he was more emotionally controlled and analytical, just like L had been encouraging him to be, he’d be almost exactly like…

“Light…” Ryuzaki mumbled.

“Sorry, what?” Mello asked.

Ryuzaki guided his eyes blankly towards the window, “The light is beginning to fade. The sun’s setting.”

Mello turned too to watch the sunset and his smile let slip an emotional vulnerability only L could see.

Seeing that youthful smile, Ryuzaki quickly dismissed his own concerns. Mello would never be anything like _Kira_. Mello might share a certain level of social competence, charismatic appeal and a comparable streak of willingness to act recklessly, but that was hardly a damning series of qualities to share with someone. And it also stood to reason that L's own similarities with Mello were just as if not more prevalent. L was just projecting his discomfort with Kira onto others and that was all there was to it. The fact of the matter was that Kira shared many of L's qualities, so of course it was only logical to conclude that his successors would resemble Kira in some mild ways too.

Yet, Ryuzaki did understand the deeper recesses of Mello's mind well. He could see the pain and destructiveness in Mello like he was looking through glassy water, and it made him troublingly certain that if Mello pursued the competition so completely the conclusion would be painful. Exactly _who_ would experience that pain was the real question. Ryuzaki wondered what kind of thing would happen if Mello had a Death Note of his own, if a gun was placed in his hand, even just a knife. None of the possibilities he came up with provided much hope. 

Was Ryuzaki himself responsible for those instincts? He felt his blood run cold with guilt. This was more than an inherent fatal flaw he failed to identify, this was completely of his own making. It immediately hit him with painful clarity what a horrendous mistake he made in encouraging their competition with such callous disregard, harnessing those worst instincts and even praising Mello for the same tendencies which had allowed Kira to tear the world and himself apart.

Mello was going to hurt himself or someone else. He was. The life, hopes and future of this young adult who liked roses and the sunset was going to go down in flames - and it was _all his fault._

Ryuzaki maintained his composure until it was dark and Mello left to return to his room. If Ryuzaki's expression or body language betrayed anything, Mello either did not notice or didn't say anything. 

The moment Ryuzaki heard Mello's feet against the steps of the stairs. Ryuzaki's expression broke down into fragments of anxiety as he stared at the night's sky. 

He had to make some radical change in how he was conducting this entire competition and quick, but he still had no idea how. He resolved that whether Mello was his successor or not, he was going to keep Mello safe from his own worst instincts. The fear he felt made him realise that he loved Mello a little and he would rather die than see an alternative outcome. Mello might not be literal family, but Ryuzaki was responsible for him now.

He already knew the initial plan to have Near and Mello adopt each other’s characteristics had fallen to pieces; now he found himself thankful for that. If his initial plan had succeeded, he would never have had the opportunity to see the suffering which the competition had until this point failed to disclose. 

Ryuzaki determined that in his search for a new solution to choose a successor, he would need two more requirements fulfilled. Firstly, the solution could not allow the competition to continue as it had, allowing Mello to grow ruthless to his own and others destruction. Secondly, the solution could not isolate Near the way it had up until this point.

He was going to fix every problem he'd caused for his successors. 

Thinking carefully, Ryuzaki brought out a phone and placed it to his ear. Maybe finding a solution would not be so difficult after all. “Sorichio Yagami? I may be able to concur with your request after all. I’ll be in Tokyo by tomorrow.”

* * *

That night, Mello and Near sat on Mello's bed working on an assignment. Mello had demanded that they sit on a bed because he was sick of sitting on the floor to accommodate for Near all the time. In hindsight, he wasn’t sure why he hadn’t suggested they just sit at the desks in their rooms, but whatever, the bed was more comfortable anyway.

Mello let out a sigh and stretched. “I’m going to bed,” he said. He looked over to Near and stared him up and down, “You too. You never sleep or eat. Go to bed. Now.”

Near looked a little surprised for a moment, but with noticeable reluctance nodded and stood up to go to his own bed and crawl under his own covers. Mello laid down on his side, watching Near to see if he was actually doing what Mello said.

They watched each other for a few moments, before Near's eyes fluttered shut.

As Mello watched Near's face as he fell into sleep, L’s voice came into his head.

_“You like things that are beautiful then?”_

Mello turned around the face the wall. He was just tired. That's all.


	12. Change

Ryuzaki was nowhere to be found the following week.

There was no explanation, no notice, no hint that something was awry. He just wasn't there.

Rather, the only acknowledgment that something was even missing appeared when Roger found Mello and Near to tell them that their meetings were cancelled. Even then, he failed to provide any additional information. This, Mello and Near both suspected, was because he knew as little as they did.

Mello was left bewildered; it was perplexing that L would show up out of nowhere with the intention of choosing a successor and then disappear just as quickly before a successor was chosen. He kept a silent eye on the news, wondering if maybe Ryuzaki had returned to solving cases as L and that was what demanded his attention elsewhere. But reporting brought no attention to such an event and the presumption remained that L was dead.

It was an uncomfortable week. In many ways, everyday life continued like normal, but there was an uncanniness to the situation, a sense that despite the mundane something just wasn't quite right. What made it worse was that the only other person that felt the sense of unease, Mello couldn't quite get himself to talk to. Mello and Near kept catching each other’s gaze and either shifted their line of sight immediately or held onto the contact for a brief second in contemplation.

They were pitted against each other. With that kind of rivalry they shouldn't confide in each other, it shouldn't even cross their minds.

There was no way Mello felt comfortable enough to give free expression to his concerns on L's disappearance, just as he still didn’t have the confidence to tell Near his other concerns regarding L. Despite all reason, however, suggesting he didn't want to open up to Near would be a lie. Trying to think through all the questions he had on L, the Kira Case and the competition on his own was starting to kill him. In most cases, he loved talking to Matt about anything and everything. But with this particular situation, involving anyone who was neither L nor a possible successor didn't seem right.

Working on an assignment in the library, Mello finally cracked and decided to tentatively ask, “So, any idea why Ryuzaki isn’t here?”

Near shook his head and showed no expression, not giving Mello anything to work with.

Mello clenched his teeth together, still wanting to talk more desperately than anything. But then it occurred to him that it wasn't so much that he wanted to _say_ something as much as it was that he wanted to _hear_ something. He really wanted Near to say something first, to say anything that made him feel less crazy.

Raising his eyes to look at Mello with a curious stare, Near looked like he too was waiting for, even hoping for, Mello to say something first. 

Neither being willing to be the first to speak, they allowed silence to prevail.

Near eventually let the moment pass and asked, “What font do you want to use for our politics homework?” 

Mello shrugged, “Comic Sans?”

In a rare show of emotion, Near looked at him like he was the single most absurd human on the planet. 

“Kidding,” Mello said, raising his hands to surrender. “Let’s keep it safe and go Times New Roman.”

That ended the discussion. They never did discuss what they wanted to. 

* * *

Ryuzaki arrived back long after the children had gone to bed at the end of the week. He made his way to the top floor with Wammy silently walking behind him. As he walked, his computer-like brain delved through a million facts and figures with renewed vigour. 

Arriving at the top floor living room, he kicked off his trainers and stretched out his toes. Walking across the carpet to the window, he stretched his arms.

Looking outside at the night sky, Ryuzaki smiled and brought a thumb to his mouth. It had been so obvious. How had he not seen the solution earlier?

His new reworked plan was perfect. It would not only bring to a conclusion the issue of choosing a successor, but would also supply Mello with the restraint he needed and Near with the social aid he required. It was beyond reproach.

Wammy came into the room and asked, “Ryuzaki, do you need anything?”

Without replying to the question, Ryuzaki looked to him with a wide triumphant smile and firmly stated, “Wammy, I’ve made up my mind.”

“You’ve chosen a successor?” Wammy asked. “Who will it be? I can inform Roger immediately.”

Ryuzaki turned back to look outside of the window, looking at the stars. The one thing he didn't like about big cities was that he could never see the stars. “I’m not making a choice. Mello and Near will succeed me together. They both win.”

There was a brief second of silence as Wammy processed the news, before he professed “Ryuzaki, I don’t understand. You must know that there is no way they would agree to this arrangement.”

“They will when I’m done with them,” Ryuzaki said in determination, bringing his fingers into fists. He’d already set the pieces in motion. It just wasn’t until this exact moment that he realised what he had been building towards all along.

Ryuzaki had been so certain there could only be one L. He now knew he was wrong. There not only could be, but must be, two L’s. And he had Kira to thank for realising that.


	13. Devil in His Ear

Ryuzaki knew he shouldn't be here. He was certain that he required more time to process the Kira Case before he even thought about stepping a foot back into Japan, yet alone meeting with a member of his disbanded Task Force.

Yet, Soichiro Yagami wanted to see his son. And after years of loyalty and trust, how could he refuse him the right? Besides, he had his own problems to sort out. And despite his greatest apprehensions, he knew somewhere in the deepest reserves of his mind that he would have to see _him_ to resolve his own conflicts.

Once he arrived in Japan, he waited in an empty hotel room for a couple of days. Giving himself time to adequately adjust his own mind to the task before him as well as working out the intricacies of how this meeting could proceed was essential.

On the third day, he at last sat in a limousine on the way to the facility. The vehicle stopped near the all too familiar police station, and as had been prearranged, Soichiro slid into the car opposite Ryuzaki without a word.

“Hello, Soichiro Yagami of the NPA,” Ryuzaki greeted his former co-worker for the first time since their case had been closed, a friendly smirk on his lips.

Soichiro looked considerably worse for wear, with tired eyes and greying hairs. These last months must have been hell for him.

“Ryuzaki. It’s good to see you again, I just wish it was under better circumstances.” Soichiro respectfully said, never losing an ounce of dignity despite how many trials his life put him through.

Ryuzaki put his thumb to his mouth, “I feel the same way.”

As they drove along, Ryuzaki glanced out of the window. A small part of him missed Japan, having been here for just long enough to grow somewhat attached to it. But he knew that he needed to be back in Winchester, both to continue healing from the Kira Case and to fulfil his obligations to his successors. He couldn't be here right now even though he was.

“Ryuzaki…” Soichiro slowly said, "I know it’s none of my business… but you’ve been inactive recently. They’re starting to say that… that L is dead.”

“Yes,” Ryuzaki mumbled. “Unfortunately I've had other matters to attend to as of late. I’ve been taking a break and staying in England to take care of a couple of young adults under my care.”

“You have... children?” Soichiro asked astonished. Ryuzaki in general didn't exactly seem like father material, but more than that he definitely didn't seem old enough to father _young adults._

“They aren’t my children,” Ryuzaki explained simply. “Although I am responsible for them.” 

“I see,” Soichiro said, leaving the matter alone. Soichiro was always good for that. He was easy to confide in precisely because he never demanded more details than he needed.

Ryuzaki's mind lingered back to Mello and Near in Winchester. He wondered what they were doing. “The Kira case changed everything,” Ryuzaki absently muttered.

“That’s very true,” Soichiro solemnly agreed, being the only person who understood Ryuzaki’s words better than Ryuzaki himself.

They reached the facility and there was a tense drawn out silence as Ryuzaki led the older man through all the safety checks. Finally, they arrived in a room with a table, one chair on one side and two on the others, a door opposite them. It was similar to an interrogation room, but with more comfort to it, made to more visually resemble a regular dining room out of respect to the Yagami’s sensibilities.

Ryuzaki and Sorichio sat on one side of the table in silence and waited for events to proceed as planned.

Eventually, a man emerged from the other door led by Watari – Watari again, they were not in Winchester anymore – with a black cloth over his head. Watari carefully patted him down to make sure he had nothing on him. Which of course he didn't. Ryuzaki had controlled every detail of his detainment after all. 

When Watari was satisfied that he had nothing dangerous on him, he removed the handcuffs and sat the man down, finally pulling off the black mask.

“Light…” Sorichio mumbled, overcome by the first sight of his son in months. 

Light’s eyes widened in a similar expression, a natural reaction to the first human interaction he had been offered since his arrest, “Dad...? Ryuazaki...?”

Ryuzaki wished he had nails long enough to dig into his palms as he silently watched. He had to be here. No one was allowed to see Kira without Ryuzaki being present, that was the terms for Light's confinement.

Despite L's determination to execute Kira once convicted, with this particular case there was was a major unresolved issue. That issue being the second notebook which could not be found. Under those conditions, Interpol reluctantly allowed L to take sole responsibility of Light’s imprisonment until the second notebook was recovered. This meant the solved case would remain completely confidential and, more significantly for Ryuzaki, Kira would be kept alive. For a time, at least.

It also meant Ryuzaki had no choice but to sit and watch the impassioned confrontation between father and son. The exclamations of bitterness and betrayal as Soichiro tried to understand why Light would do what he did ran in circles. Unfortunately, the circle had no end, because Light could not answer Soichiro’s questions. The reason: he didn't know why Kira did what he did. He didn't remember anything. He was in prison for a crime he didn't even know he committed.

“Dad, I told you, I don’t remember anything!” Light – Kira – Ryuzaki must remember he was Kira, pleaded. “Please, dad! I’m still your son.”

“You are a murderer!” Soichiro said in indignation as the tension and volume of the room reached its peak. “You are not my son! You are a criminal!” He then turned to Ryuzaki and firmly said, “I’m done. Ryuzaki, I’m ready to leave.”

“Of course,” Ryuzaki said, standing from the chair.

Just like that, a panicked Light was handcuffed again and led back into the connecting room in an unsatisfying conclusion.

Ryuzaki and Soichiro left the building and made their way back into the limousine so that Ryuzaki could return Soichiro to the police station.

After several moments into the tense drive back, Soichiro said, “I’m sorry, Ryuzaki. It seems I made you fly to Japan for nothing.” It certainly was true that whatever closure Soichiro hoped to achieve from the reunion had fallen fantastically flat.

“Don’t apologise, Soichiro. It’s the least I could have done after you were such a great help during the Kira case.” Ryuzaki said in a carefully chosen moment of compassion as they came to a stop at the police station. “In truth, I had an ulterior motive for returning,” Ryuzaki admitted. “Those kids I was talking about… I have some things to resolve for their sake, and I believe understanding Kira may help me,” he said with a sad smile. 

Again, Soichiro did not push his luck for more information and gave a respectful nod to sympathise. 

Ryuzaki watched as Soichiro exited the vehicle, saying softly through the crack in the window, “Farewell, Mr Yagami, if you need me, feel free to call on me at any time.”

* * *

The next day, Ryuzaki returned to the facility on his own.

Ryuzaki prepared himself for many situations. He was prepared for the mind tricks Kira was known for, he was prepared for Kira to spontaneously try to murder him, he was even prepared for him to collapse into tears for his life. But he could not possibly have expected how Light would act when they were alone.

And that was like everything was normal. Like Light was not a serial killer.

They spoke calmly like old friends catching up, playing chess like it was the most regular thing in the world.

“Anyway, what have you been doing these days?” Light asked, “Are you working on a case right now?”

“If I was, I wouldn’t tell you,” L responded casually. “But no, I’m preoccupied with other matters right now.”

“Anything I can help with?” Light inquired.

L placed a chess piece forward, “I have been considering that. You are smart. And it may be useful to have an outside perspective." He knew it was unwise, even dangerous, to take any advice from Light. In this case, however, the reward might just outweigh the risk.

Light's eyes sparked at the opportunity, “Maybe this could help prove I’m not Kira! And then maybe we can find the real one.

L felt his chest drop further than he ever knew it could.

Light finding out he had been Kira without the memories to substantiate the knowledge had been mentally difficult for him. His initial instinct was, somewhat understandably, a reoccurring denialism. Who could murder people and not remember after all? L had thought, apparently wrongly, that Light had moved passed that stage and had accepted his situation. It seemed he was not completely there yet.

“Light…” L breathed slowly.

“Ryuzaki, you have to listen to me, I’ve been thinking about it, and it wasn’t me! It can’t have been. I know how it looks but there’s no way I’d do something like that!” Light begged.

Without another word, L stood up and walked towards the exit, not willing to humour him for a moment longer. “Watari, I’m done.” He walked through the door, ignoring Light’s protests.

He _really_ believed he was innocent. That was the worst part.

* * *

He decided to try one more time before he returned to Winchester. Just one more time,

Thankfully, he was relieved to see that Light had returned to a reluctant acceptance of his crimes. It made everything so much easier. 

They continued playing chess. Maybe this time they could even actually finish a game, L hoped. L moved a chess piece and looked up to see Light in a casual sitting position with his legs crossed, just like Mello when he got defensive about the roses. No, he had to stop thinking like that.

“I was wondering if you could tell me what could have prevented you from becoming Kira?” L asked.

Light looked down at the chess board and scowled, “That’s a strange question. I guess… Not finding the notebook is the only thing I can think of."

“So you don’t think anything could have been done before that to pre-emptively prevent you becoming Kira?” L enquired. There had to be more to it than that.

“Why are you asking?” Light asked, playing another chess piece. “Whatever this is, let me help. Please. I need to make up for what I’ve done.”

“You would need to do that a few hundred-thousand times to really balance out your sheet,” L remarked. But he did reluctantly submit to Light, slowly saying, “I am trying to choose a successor. There are two possibilities. I am afraid one, let’s call him _M,_ will become… like Kira.”

“What do you mean by _like_ Kira?” Light asked.

L shrugged, “He would do anything to win this competition he’s in. He’s a passionate and determined person and I firmly believe in him, but he would go to any means to achieve his ends. He does not have the most robust sense of justice and the law is not his first instinct, I suspect at least partially because he was raised with mafia connections. I'm afraid of what that could mean for him if the competition continues, even moreso if he _wins_.”

Light sarcastically said, “Well he’d make a great detective.” He then coyly suggested, “Why not just make the other one – let’s call him _N_ – your successor and let M live a normal life where he can't do any harm?"

“When did I say N was a he?” L asked with judgmental look.

Light blinked a couple of time, “Oh, uh, right. _She...? They...?"_

L moved a chess piece with a smirk, “No, he’s a he, I just enjoy making you realise your own sexist assumptions.”

Light rolled his eyes, “Right.”

L shook his head to the earlier suggestion. “If M was left alone without the position of L as a pathway, things would get extremely out of hand. I’m absolutely certain of that. The prospect of being L is the only restraint he has. Without it, nothing would prevent him from joining the mafia.”

“If he does, you can actually bring him to justice though,” Light refuted. “You can’t do that if he becomes L.”

“Kira, that isn't an option,” L said with finality. “I am resolved to protect my successors. Besides, he’s too talented to dismiss."

"Alright then," Light mumbled thoughtfully. "Well, tell me about the other successor. Maybe that will help."

"Right," Ryuzaki said. "I have my own problem with him, but I doubt you could help. I fear that without stronger social ties, N will suffer immensely from the inherent loneliness of the position of L." Light could've been helpful with solving his dilemma concerning Mello because he understood. Although, Ryuzaki doubted he could give any wise words on this issue, as Light could never understand Near's inability to fit in. 

“Oh…” Light mumbled, just as clueless as Ryuzaki expected him to be. “I see. Well, these issues aside, are you any closer on who to pick?”

L shook his head. “It’s taking much longer than I expected. M has incredible intuition and energy, it is quite unparalleled really. But N has amazing deductive skills and can actually stay cool when he needs to. I tried to make them pick up each other’s best qualities, but it is not happening as quickly as I would have liked. So I have these three impossible problems to solve. One, how do I pick one of them while not losing essential qualities of the other. Two, how do I keep M from becoming too obsessed with the competition he ends up with the same destructive qualities of Kira. Three, how do I protect N from his isolation.”

Light smiled with a light chuckle, “Ryuzaki, you must see how ridiculously obvious the solution is. Can’t they both succeed you?”

“Impossible,” L said immediately. “There is one L.” Light knew better than that, Ryuzaki was almost disappointed he would even suggest something so unhelpful.

“According to who?” Light asked. “Ryuzaki, there is no precedent you need to follow. L is _your_ title. You can decide how many L’s there are. You only think there can only be one L because it’s all you’ve known, but that doesn’t mean it has to be or even should be that way. I mean… can you imagine if we were actually on the same side? We really would have been the greatest detectives of all time. M and N won’t have the same problem, they’re both on the side of L.”

That analogy lit a match for Ryuzaki in a way that nothing up until that moment had. It was true. L and Light would have been an unconquerable match if it hadn't been for insurmountable differences, but Mello and Near really could be that match. Together they could be stronger than either alone ever could be. It was least a theoretical possibility worth considering. Perhaps he had dismissed the idea far too quickly. Except…

“They hate each other,” L said. “They would never work together.”

“Hatred is either not as intense as initially thought or easily transferred into other equally strong emotions. There’s no good reason why blindhatred should prevent a partnership,” Light said dismissively.

“I’m not sure about that. M in particular has dedicated himself to the competition in a way I don’t believe can be fixed. He goes out of his way just to make sure N knows he doesn’t like him,” L insisted.

With a laugh, Light joked, “Yeah, I’m sure he also pulled his piggytails in the schoolyard.”

“What? N doesn’t have piggytails.” L asked, not sure what was so funny.

“It was a joke. I’m just saying…” Light laughed again, “Oh, never mind. Even you will work it out eventually. All I’m saying is that, in my experience, being the smartest person in the room can be lonely. So if they're really as smart as you say, then it’s impossible for them to _really_ hate the only person who shares that kind of intelligence.”

“In fact,” Light continued. “Three birds with one stone. You have two successors which combine their abilities to surpass you, M isn’t destroyed by the competition, and N will never have to worry about being alone again.” Light moved a chess piece in his final move, saying “History doesn’t need to repeat itself. But only if you play your cards right. Checkmate.”


	14. Sunrise

Ryuzaki felt the need to stretch his legs after spending so much of the day travelling, deciding to go on a walk around the building. Perhaps moving his feet could also help him think through the new intricacies of his plan.

Walking along the corridors of the orphanage at night proved to be an oddly relaxing habit. Maybe it was because the familiar walls gave him nostalgia for his youth, or maybe it was just because the silence as the children slept gave him a peaceful state of mind, either way it eased his soul.

At least, it was silent until he heard the all too familiar bickering behind one of the doors. With eager curiosity, Ryuzaki walked towards the door and pressed his ear against the wood surface.

“How many times do I have to fucking tell you to stop leaving your toys all over my bed!?”

“Just push them off. It wouldn’t be the first time my toys were dropped on the ground by you.”

On the other side of the corridor, a young boy opened the door to his bedroom yawning and rubbing his eyes. He made eye contact with Ryuzaki, who no doubt looked very strange with his ear pressed to the door. Ryuzaki smiled and raised a hand to wave without moving his ear away. Sufficiently baffled, the boy without saying or doing anything just stepped backwards into the room and shut his door, apparently deciding that whatever reason he had to leave his room just wasn’t worth it anymore.

“What are they doing on _my_ bed anyway? What the fuck is wrong with you.”

“Your bed’s nicer than mine. I don't like mine anymore...”

“That’s not a fucking excuse!”

“You use the f-word a lot. I think you should expand your vocabulary.”

“Go fuck yourself, Near. I’m going out.”

Ryuzaki took his ear off the door but did not step back. As the door opened, Mello almost walked straight into Ryuzaki and flinched back, “Ryuzaki! W-what the fuck?”

“Near’s right, you could do with a wider vocabulary,” Ryuzaki agreed.

“Welcome back, Ryuzaki,” Near monotonously said from the room, sitting on Mello's bed with a small Lego building.

“Thank you, Near,” Ryuzaki replied, ignoring the obvious lack of sincerity.

Reeling himself back from the momentary panic which only L could have caused, Mello left the room to stand awkwardly in the corridor. “I, uh, where did you go…? When did you get back?”

“Going somewhere?” Ryuzaki asked instead of replying, looking Mello up and down.

“I have to get out of here,” Mello mumbled. “He’s driving me insane.” Mello paused and scowled when he realized Ryuzaki didn’t answer his question. He did that a lot.

Ryuzaki smiled with his thumb against his lips as usual, looking between Mello and Near. Now how could he pass up such a perfect opportunity? “Perhaps we should all go elsewhere. I enjoyed watching the sunset with you last week Mello, I was wondering if the sunrise would be the same if you would both care to join me?”

Mello turned to look back at Near for a millisecond, before quickly turning away again to look at Ryuzaki and saying, “Sure... I'd really like to see that."

“Go ahead without me,” Near said, content with forming his Lego structure at a rapid speed.

“Are you sure?” Ryuzaki asked leaning into the boys' shared room.

Near nodded. Ryuzaki let out a hum in thought

Mello crossed his arms, unbothered but impatient. Clearly he was not enthusiastic for Near's company, but at the same time, not exactly enamoured by the idea of his absence either.

Trying one more time, Ryuzaki leaned into the boys' shared room and said, “Mello tells me the view is beautiful. Isn't that right, Mello? Don’t you want to see something beautiful, Near?”

Near thought for a few moments, stilling his hand over a piece of Lego he held in place before saying, “I suppose that doesn’t sound so bad.”

Ryuzaki's eyes fleetingly widened, surprised that such words would actually be persuasive. For some strange reason, Near was more influenced by Mello’s opinion than his own mentor's, despite Mello's renown for making impulsive decisions. Ryuzaki made sure to reserve that observation somewhere in his mind. That was a valuable hint that could be useful in the future.

With no further protest, Mello and Near followed Ryuzaki to the top floor of the orphanage.

Under the midnight darkness, room 462 was only illuminated by a desk lamp. Ryuzaki had grown tired of the constant stark overhead lighting from the Kira Case and enjoyed a calmer lighting arrangement for times like this. Mello and Near sat on one of the sofas while Ryuzaki sat on the other, letting him get a direct view of his successors as he spoke to them.

The three spoke as the rest of Wammy’s House slept.

To begin with, the conversation was mostly confined to Mello and Ryuzaki, with Near remaining mostly silent. After a while, Near began to speak up a little more. It was still only passing comments and small talk rather than anything substantive, but that Near was becoming more conversational at all was a success. What was awfully inconvenient, however, was that they weren't speaking to _each other._

Near would keep looking over to Mello, and Mello would give an irritated look to Near every so and then, but that was it. That wouldn't do. Ryuzaki had to see them interact with each other in a more free and social setting if he wanted to understand more about how he could approach his new, evolving end.

More important than that, he needed them to _understand_ each other. Working together would require total trust, and that could only be achieved from talking to each other. Not about work or L, like they had been up until this point. They needed to understand each other as people, they need to... 

Ryuzaki figured it out. A smirk reached his lips as he finally figured out the first step of his new plan. 

“When did you get back, Ryuzaki?” Near asked.

“Just this night,” Ryuzaki replied, brought out of his logic-centred equivalent of a daze. “I assumed everyone would be asleep.”

“You never told us where you went,” Mello noted, again probing for an answer.

“That argument you were having, does that happen often?” Ryuzaki asked.

“All the time!” Mello said, cleaning a fist in anger despite keeping his voice calm. “Near is impossible to live with.” He opened his mouth to keep complaining before he realised that once again Ryuzaki had avoided his question, utilising his anger to distract him. It didn’t help that when he looked to Near, he gave him a condescending look. Mello crossed his arms and sulked back.

Ryuzaki looked outside, the sun would probably be rising soon.

“Ryuzaki, what’s the point of all this anyway?” Mello asked. “Why did you want us to come up here?”

“Is it not possible I just wanted to spend time with you?” Ryuzaki asked.

“You have an ulterior motive for everything,” Near stated simply.

Ryuzaki shrugged and honestly replied, “I suppose there’s some truth to that. To be honest, I was biding my time.”

“If Ryuzaki has something to say, I believe Mello and I would prefer he said it now,” Near said.

Ryuzaki put a thumb to his lips in thought and said, “I suppose it has been long enough. I think I've figured out what I needed to.”

Mello stuttered, “Have you picked a successor? Is that what this is about?” Ryuzaki had said he intended to keep the process to two weeks, and Ryuzaki had disappeared at the conclusion of the second week, and they were now finishing the third week. So it was overdue.

Ryuzaki shook his head, “No. It seems I seriously underestimated how long this process would take. That’s fine. I’m willing to put in however much time is necessary. It’s going to take up a lot of my time, and yours too. I’m going to start giving you tasks to work on outside of our meetings too. My first task is quite simple.”

He looked between them carefully, “I am going to task you both with telling each other what your deepest secret is.”

That caught their attention. Mello scowled intently and Near's Lego pieces suddenly became much less interesting to him.

“What? Ryuzaki, is this some kind of fucked up joke?” Mello asked.

“Not at all”, Ryuzaki replied. “I don’t expect you to do it right now, and I don’t need you to tell me. In fact, I won’t even ask if or when you’ve done it. No one will know except the two of you.”

“How does Ryuzaki intend to pick a successor based on such a criteria if even he doesn’t know when it has been fulfilled?” Near asked. “And why would either of us be willing to tell the other our secret if it will help the other?”

“I’m certain you have now both realised why you’re working together.” Ryuzaki began to explain. He’d already resolved to not tell them about his change of heart for now, that would only breed more conflict and resistance. He would proceed as he was doing, making them believe the competition was still on while slowly sowing the seeds for co-operation in plain sight. He could announce his intentions when he felt the moment felt correct.

“Well,” Ryuzaki continued. “Consider this the litmus test for your efforts. You will know that you have made great progress on developing the other’s best attributes once you are capable of both telling and receiving such sensitive information.”

Mello gave a side glance to Near, “I’m not telling him anything.”

Near agreed, “I also have no intentions of telling Mello my secrets.”

Ryuzaki smirked between them. They may say that now, but he was already beginning to see progress in the right direction. With a little time they’d understand each other much better, with that those things which they were so sure they could never utter aloud would simply slip carelessly from their tongues.

“Very well,” Ryuzaki said unbothered. “It’s like I said, I will never know if you do or don’t follow my instructions.”

Near and Mello exchanged a look and Ryuzaki smiled to himself before looking out the window. “Well, the sun is rising.”

With all sense of tiredness lost, Mello looked outside of the window and looked in awe, “Wow… it’s…”

“Beautiful,” Near finished.

Mello looked back at Near in confusion, that wasn’t a word he ever expected to see on Near’s lips. But in truth, the word did fit the situation perfectly. “Yes…” He agreed slowly, before looking back out of the window.

Ryuzaki smiled. Every conversation, every _word,_ brought them a step closer together. 


	15. Irritated Senseless

Mello was exhausted.

He wasn’t opposed to staying up all night by any means, and he’d done it before. You didn't become L's successor without enough resilience to sustain a sleepless night or two. But that didn’t mean he didn't feel it the next morning. What made it so much worse was that Near didn’t seem at all affected. Apparently being sleep deprived was just his average state of being.

It was worth it though. Mello couldn’t stop thinking about the sunset.

There were a million words Near could have used to describe it, and he picked _beautiful_ _._ It was the exact word Mello would have used... It made him feel weak and stupid and annoyingly young. 

Any good mood, or even warmth he felt from that interaction, however, proved fleeting. 

In their last lesson - chemistry - Near tried to use the Bunsen burner on his own. Apparently he did not notice Mello holding his jacket just above it, accidentally setting it on fire. The teacher kept _both_ of them behind to discipline them.

“… I didn’t know how high the flame would be…” Near said coyly as they finally left the classroom.

Mello, carrying his charred jacket with an irritated scowl, said, “My jacket was _right_ above it.”

“Yeah, and whose fault was that?” Near listlessly asked.

“You! You turned the burner on!” Mello said astounded. “I can’t believe we’re _both_ getting in trouble.”

Jesus Christ, getting in trouble, messing up in science class... he was twenty freaking years old and might as well still be in high school. If it wasn't for the competition keeping him in Wammy's house, he could have been a ruthless mobster by now, and yet here he was being disciplined by teachers in an orphanage. 

"Oh well," Near said dismissively. He went to go play with his puzzles, taking no emotional hits from being disciplined.

Mello could feel irritation building up over every inch of skin. The kind that couldn't be easily rectified by simple distractions. It wasn't quite the burning rage and hatred that made him think he might hurt someone, but that didn't make it any less bothersome. Matt wouldn't understand. He would just laugh and ask why he was taking everything so seriously. No one else would get it either. After all, none of them got the intensity of the competition or how it could drive someone to any of the various -cides.

Not knowing what else to do, Mello changed into a new denim jacket and shoved his clenched fists into the pockets before ascending the staircase to the top floor. He knew he wasn’t supposed to go up there and up until that point he'd succeeded in obeying the rule, but he didn’t know what else he could do right now.

He went to Ryuzaki’s office, but found he wasn't there. Mello let out a long breath and walked absently down the corridor, looking between the doors.

His attention piqued as he heard a faint voice behind one of the doors. Mello approached the door, knocking lightly before opening it.

The door creaked open to reveal a dark bedroom, where Ryuzaki sat on crumpled sheets speaking to someone in his usual crouched position, the laptop the only source of light which emanated throughout the room.

Mello immediately felt like he interrupted a far too intimate setting. Ryuzaki wasn’t doing anything anyone wouldn't expect, but this must be his _room_ and that seemed way too private for Mello to see. He couldn’t help but make a mental note of the fact that Ryuzaki apparently _did_ need to sleep.

“I have to go,” Ryuzaki quickly said, ending whatever call he was on and shutting his laptop abruptly. “Hello, Mello. Can I help you?” He asked with no semblance of anger in his voice.

“I’m sorry… Did I interrupt something? I know I shouldn’t be here…” Mello said.

“Not at all. Don’t worry, dear Mello,” Ryuzaki reassured.

“I just, urm…” Mello started. “Never mind, it’s dumb. It’s just, god, Near drives me insane. And everyone thinks Near is so great while they look at me like I’m such a nuisance, even though he acts out just as much as I do but no one ever notices and... I, uh-” Mello felt a little embarrassed when he realised how petty his excuse for a problem was and immediately cut off his words, raising a hand to the back of his head.

Ryuzaki simply smiled in amusement and asked, “Would you like some coffee?”

Mello widened his eyes, surprised that Ryuzaki would even feign to entertain his ridiculous excuse for an issue. “I, uh, sure... I mean, yes please.” 

“Wammy is currently attending to matters related to the orphanage, so I’ll have to just make us instant coffee. Will that be acceptable?” Ryuzaki asked, putting his laptop aside.

“Totally,” Mello said. “I can make it if you want?” He offered, trying to make up for his interruption. 

“No, no, you’re my guest,” Ryuzaki said, leading Mello out of the room and shutting the bedroom door behind him.

“Who were you talking to?” Mello asked, as he walked besides Ryuzaki down the corridor to the familiar room.

“An old friend,” Ryuzaki said. “Nobody you’ll ever have to worry about.”

Mello scowled at the strange explanation but didn’t raise any more questions. It wasn’t really his place to even overhear the conversation yet alone push for further details.

* * *

Ryuzaki looked around and found the instant coffee, two mugs and a kettle on his own. He was rather impressed at himself for this little feat. While he did that, Mello went on his rant about Near. Ryuzaki made no comment but made sure to keep little mental notes on everything he said.

One note he made was that Mello’s grudge didn't seem to be really against Near, no matter what he said. Rather, it seemed to revolve around a belief that he was being overlooked and judged unfairly next to Near by others.

“- I'm just so sick of everyone looking at me like I'm some angry petulant child and thinking Near's some fucking angel. It’s _always_ me that gets in trouble and its always me that gets the blame for the smallest things. ”

“Sometimes perception matters more than anything else,” Ryuzaki noted. 

“It’s not fair,” Mello mumbled.

“No, it’s not,” Ryuzaki agreed. Being agreeable with Mello seemed like the best option at the moment. “On the bright side, I am not so easily swayed by your…” Ryuzaki looked over him and looked for a way to describe it, “…leaning towards all things leather.”

Mello looked down at himself, “I’m not wearing any leather right now.”

“Not literally, but in spirit,” Ryuzaki said, getting up to water a plant placed precariously on the window sill.

Mello looked a little confused, trying to make sense of the suggestion that someone could 'spiritually' wear leather. But he still took the compliment, especially as Ryuzaki continued his statement with, “In fact, that’s why I like you so much.”

"When did this start?" Ryuzaki asked, taking the potted plant back to the sofa to watch it happily. "Your issues with feeling unfairly judged next to Near, that is. How long have people made negative assumptions about you?" Ryuzaki decided to conveniently forget that he himself had made assumptions on Mello's violent nature. 

"I was... a lot younger," Mello said simply. "Why are you trying to play therapist now," Mello joked with a smirk.

Ryuzaki wondered why Mello wouldn't give a clearer answer since he was so open about everything else. Then it hit him. The roses. This was about the roses. He put the thought aside, now was not the time for prodding sensitive subjects. 

Deciding he has made Mello feel sufficiently comfortable and assured, Ryuzaki delicately said, “Mello, have you ever thought that this might not really be about Near? You really should not hate him for the way you’re prejudged. I know it isn’t fair, but it isn’t Near’s fault. In fact, Near seems to be one of the few people who thinks highly of you..." Ryuzaki wondered when Mello started to feel the pressure of people making assumptions about him. 

“I know,” Mello said reluctantly. “But... God, is it so hard for someone to know... just basic facts about how to stay alive? Like maybe _not_ lighting random fires or burning things?”

“Indeed, it must be frustrating,” Ryuzaki admitted, “Though I suppose it would be throwing stones from a glass house to criticise, as I too can barely take care of myself. In fact, I have chosen to utilise my time here to get used to doing every day tasks. Like taking care of plants,” he said gesturing to his plant, which still stood alive, a great accomplishment for him apparently. 

“Yeah… about that... I wasn’t going to say anything, but you just watered plastic,” Mello said with awkward bluntness.

Ryuzaki looked to him confused.

“The plant,” Mello elaborated. “It’s plastic.”

Ryuzaki looked back down to his plant and poked it, “Oh.” He turned to Mello with a sheepish look on his face, “I’ve been watering this all week…”

Ryuzaki placed the plant on the table and drew a phone out of his pocket, dialling and holding it to his ear, “Hello, Wammy when you get this, could you please buy me a real plant? Thank you.”

Hanging up and smiling up at Mello, he said in good spirits, “Very impressive, Mello. You’re an extremely competent individual. Do you also know how to cook things? And can you do the laundry? Could you teach me?”

Mello laughed a little and mumbled “sure”, not entirely certain how to take the glowing compliment over something any ordinary person would know.

Ryuzaki poured water from the kettle into the cups, “Anyhow, how is everything else?”

Mello rubbed the back of his neck, “Ryuzaki, you need to boil the water first…” 

Ryuzaki looked at the kettle, “Oh, right. I’ll be right back I need to find a power source.”

He rushed out of the room with the kettle before he gave Mello a chance to point to the outlet right behind him. How could the most observant person in the world be so inattentive to his immediate real world surroundings when they weren't related to a case, Mello wondered as he decided to shut his eyes for a second. Just a second he told himself.

When Ryuzaki came back, he stopped and smiled to see that Mello had fallen asleep. He shouldn’t be surprised, he _did_ keep him up all night. Ryuzaki put a thumb to his mouth and analysed his face. He seemed so peaceful and happy when he was unconscious. “Sweet dreams, Mello,” he whispered quietly.

* * *

Ryuzaki returned to his office for his lesson with Near after a short period of time, letting Mello get some much needed rest.

This time, Near came to actually sit on the chair by the table, arranging wooden tooth picks into careful construction. A small success, Ryuzaki felt. The mentoring continued as usual, before Near brought the lesson to a pause to ask, “Is Mello up here?”

“He is. He was quite exhausted and fell asleep a short while ago on the sofa,” Ryuzaki confirmed.

“Oh,” Near mumbled. “I expected as much. He did seem tired when we last spoke.”

“Yet you do not,” Ryuzaki noted.

“I never have displayed how I feel like he does,” Near passively responded, twirling his hair noncommittally. “Besides, I have disliked sleeping recently anyway,” moving quickly before Ryuzaki could ask anything more on the subject, Near turned his attention to other things. “Anyway, I wanted to ask you if he seemed mad at me?” He asked, his eye flicking to Ryuzaki then straight back to his toys.

“Isn’t he always mad at you?” Ryuzaki asked.

“He is.” Near said with a half-hearted shrug. "Sometimes it is worse than other times, though."

“Does that bother you?” Ryuzaki enquired curiously.

Near shook his head, and Ryuzaki could have sworn he saw what was close to a smirk on Near’s face. What a peculiar reaction. It couldn’t be that Near _liked_ Mello’s hatred, could it?

Near flicked his eyes up to Ryuzaki for the second time that day. Lowering his eyes again, they suddenly shot open wide and looked to the side of Ryuzaki's laptop with a fixed look, accidently pulling on one of the tooth picks wrong and causing the entire structure to tumble. “Why is that microphone on?”

“Wammy listens to our sessions sometimes,” Ryuzaki said dismissively. He thought he’d hidden it well enough, clearly he was wrong.

“Wammy isn’t in his office.” Near said, clearly unconvinced.

“Oh, I suppose I turned it on by mistake then,” Ryuzaki said.

“I don’t believe you,” Near bluntly accused.

Ryuzaki smiled. Near really wasn’t buying anything he said, and he didn’t try to hide it either. It showed a plain level of distrust Mello would never even think to hold for L. In fact, Near was the opposite of everyone else he’d worked with; the Kira task force always bought his lies and excuses. “Then don’t believe me,” Ryuzaki said plainly.

Realising that now it would be difficult to keep Near openly productive, he decided it was a good time to bring the lesson to a close. “I’d like to give you a task." He said.

“Yes, Ryuzaki?” Near asked, clearly trying to be even more tight lipped than before.

Ryuzaki looked Near over, “I would like you to get out of your comfort zone in some way. Say yes to something you would normally say no to, participate in something you would never have even thought to do, do something unpredictable. I'm sure you're getting the idea.”

“For what purpose?” Near asked.

“If you become L, you will not always be allowed to act within your own limits. You will be expected to do things you don't want to and exert yourself in uncomfortable situations.” Ryuzaki said.

“What kind of thing were you thinking of?” Near asked, his eyes drooping a little at the concept of leaving his puzzles to do something unforgivably unfamiliar.

Ryuzaki carefully suggested, “If you need help thinking of things, just look to Mello. He’s always acting unpredictably. Comfort zones has never been a concern for him.”

Near looked at his structure with thoughtful scepticism. “Is this another part of trying to make me and Mello better competitors against each other?”

“Yes,” Ryuzaki lied. He knew Near probably wouldn’t oppose the notion of working with Mello. But he had to be careful to not say or do anything too precipitously. He wanted them to feel like it was their idea.

“Very well,” Near said. “I’m sure I’ll think of something…”

* * *

Ryuzaki let Near return to his room. Deciding it was an adequate time to check back in with Mello, he spoke .

As he entered room 462, he found Wammy giving Mello some green tea. Mello had seemingly just woken up and was rubbing his eyes half covered in a blanket. It was almost funny seeing the toughest person he'd ever met with those bloodshot sleepy eyes and a soft white blanket. 

“Good morning, Mello,” Ryuzaki said.

“It’s 6PM. Again,” Wammy corrected.

“I meant it figurately,” Ryuzaki said with a grumpy face.

“I can't believe I fell asleep. How pathetic. Sorry about this,” Mello mumbled in a grudging apology, bringing the cup to his mouth.

“Don’t apologise,” Wammy assured. “I take it Ryuzaki was bothering you all night,” he said with an exhausted sigh. Wammy understood how that felt all too well.

“I guess I should probably head down now. Thanks for listening to me, Ryuzaki,” Mello said. He took another sip of tea before placing it on the table and standing up, stretching his arms as he headed out.

“Thank you for waking my guest up, Wammy,” Ryuzaki thanked, picking up Mello’s cup and deciding he might as well drink the rest.

“My pleasure,” Wammy said respectfully, picking up and folding the blanket.

“Putting the blanket over him was awfully sweet of you,” Ryuzaki said with a smirk.

Wammy paused and looked at Ryuzaki confused, “I didn’t put the blanket over Mello. It wasn’t you?” He asked, offering the folded blanket to Ryuzaki.

“You didn’t?” Ryuzaki asked. “Well if it wasn’t either of us…” Ryuzaki muttered, his mouth curling into a smile as he took the blanket. “Interesting.”


	16. Sharing Minds

Ryuzaki sat at his desk, thumb pressed against his mouth as he watched Mello during their lesson together. He was thinking carefully. So carefully, in fact, that he didn’t even notice that for once he’d forgotten to pick up some sweets for the lesson. This whole thing he was trying to pull off with Near and Mello would be tricky. They’d spent their entire lives nurturing competition towards each other, undoing that damage would not be an easy task. Especially where Mello was concerned.

He’d sewn some seeds by making them consider telling each other their deepest secrets, but Ryuzaki knew that pay off would not come for some time.

The hard part was finding a basis for their working relationship to grow on. Mello hated Near. Guessing Near’s feelings towards Mello would be a lost cause. But there had to be _something_ else there he could build on; every house needed a strong foundation.

Until he figured a solid source for connection, he would take things one step at a time. And he had a good idea of where to start.

“Mello, I have a task for you,” Ryuzaki announced.

Mello crossed his legs, drumming his leather-bound fingers against his knee, “What is it?”

Ryuzaki reached into his desk and brought out a bar of chocolate. “I wanted to give you this. It’s a gift.”

Mello blinked a couple of times, leaning over to take the chocolate and looking at it suspiciously, “I don’t get it. How’s this a task?”

“Do you share a lot, Mello?” Ryuzaki asked, leading up to the answer.

“Well… for over a few weeks now I’ve been unwillingly sharing a room, does that count?” Mello suggested in a rather tongue-in-cheek fashion.

“I didn’t think so,” Ryuzaki said, taking that as a negative. “My task is for you to share this chocolate bar with someone.”

“Why?” Mello asked.

“Sharing’s good for the soul,” Ryuzaki replied.

Mello chosen to ignore that the terrible excuse was an obvious lie. “Who would you suggest I share it with?” he asked, presumably already knowing the answer.

“Near may be a good contender,” Ryuzaki suggested.

“Why do I feel you’re up to something?” Mello asked, scepticism steadily growing.

“Because I always am,” Ryuzaki replied honestly.

Mello rolled his eyes, “Right, forgot about that little detail.”

“Of course, you have total discretion. You can just keep it for yourself if you’re so inclined, or you may share it with your friends,” Ryuzaki said. He knew Mello wouldn’t need to be pestered into this. As much leniency as he was offering, Mello would never pass up the opportunity to impress Ryuzaki.

Ryuzaki smiled slyly at Mello. He always won. 

* * *

Mello left the office and stood in the hallway, looking down at the chocolate bar intently He really didn’t want to share it. And no, it wasn’t just because he just loved chocolate. It was because it would force him to act in contradiction of everything he proclaimed to feel about his nemesis yet again. 

He was still standing still in the hallway, looking at the chocolate like a puzzle he couldn't quite crack, when he heard Ryuzaki’s voice rise again from behind the office door. Trying to make out the sounds and turning to watch at the wooden door, Mello began to wonder if Ryuzaki was conversing with the same person he’d heard before.

From the muffled sounds, he could only grasp enough to catch his own and Near’s names spoken. So this was related to them… Maybe Ryuzaki had a friend he conferred with on who to choose for a successor? Except, Ryuzaki didn’t have friends. Everyone knew that.

And this wasn’t Wammy. Ryuzaki was switching between languages as he spoke, and he only spoke English to Wammy. It may be helpful if he could recognise the second language, but annoyingly Near was better than Mello at all non-European languages. Brat. 

As if to confirm any doubts he had that this wasn’t Wammy, as he was staring down the lifeless corridor, he heard footsteps behind him and turned around to see Wammy watching him.

“Good afternoon, Mello,” Wammy greeted politely, a little smile on his face from managing to shock Mello.

“Hey, Wammy. I just finished lessons with Ryuzaki,” Mello explained, knowing the way he was just standing there likely appeared – perhaps not unjustifiably – rather suspicious.

“I see. I hope you have a good night,” Wammy said, slyly adding, “Stay out of trouble.”

Mello passed one glance back to Ryuzaki’s office then smiled awkwardly at Wammy before walking passed him and descending the staircase.

His face was scowling in deep thought as he walked letting his subconscious guide him. Who would Ryuzaki trust with this subject? Surely the answer was none. And yet, apparently that wasn’t the case.

He opened his bedroom door to see that Near was sitting on Mello’s bed with his toys again. Mello let out a deep sigh, trying to not work himself up over something so small again as he shut the door behind him.

Expecting Mello to snap at him, Near moved to pick up his toys, softly saying, “I’ll move.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Mello replied plainly.

Near froze with his hand over one of his toys, not sure whether he should take Mello’s assurance seriously or if it was some kind of joke. As Mello came to sit next to him on his bed, leaning with his back against the wall with a hand resting on a raised knee, Near relaxed and continued to play with his toys. Mello sat quietly, not giving voice to his thoughts or caring to explain his new behaviour. Slowly, Mello shifted his focus from the wall on the other side of the room to watch Near.

When did he stop feeling relentlessly uncomfortable in his presence? And more importantly, how did Ryuzaki manage to keep using Near to get into his head?

“Does Mello need something?” Near asked, turning to look back at Mello.

Mello watched Near’s eyes for a moment for something. He wasn’t sure exactly what he was looking for, but he just needed some sign of… something. “Nothing,” Mello said looking away.

After a few moments, Near slowly said, “I may… have some concerns…”, caution dripping from every syllable.

Mello’s turned back to Near with an even stronger focus, his eyes exuding a new spirited determination, “Yeah? Tell me.”

For weeks, Mello had kept most of his concerns and thoughts bottled up, waiting for Near to be the first to say something. He didn’t want to say something stupid or reveal any weakness by speaking first. Was Near finally going to let something slip?

“Ryuzaki… seems to have shifted… in some way. His lessons and the way he talks to us isn’t the same as…”

“-as before he disappeared from Wammy’s House that week.” Mello finished. His heart was racing, he couldn’t believe he could finally get off his chest one of his theories about L.

Near evidently felt the same, as his eyes shifted immediately from passive curiosity and self-doubt to something fierier, “Yes. Something must have happened. I think he may have met someone who he’s…” Near trailed off.

“Someone he’s been corresponding with about us?” Mello asked.

Near shifted to face Mello with his entire body, their eyes in a deep non-verbal connection to supplement their conversation. “Yes. Have you notic-”

Mello cut him off, not needing Near to finish the thought to know what he was going to say. “I’ve overheard him speaking to someone on his laptop a couple of times now. Just now I was waiting in the hallway and I heard him mention our names. I never noticed that before last week.”

“Ryuzaki has begun turning on the microphone during our meetings for someone,” Near added.

“I thought he always did that?” Mello asked.

Near shook his head, “Before it was for Wammy. Someone else is listening to them now.”

“Oh my god,” Mello mumbled. Who’d have thought. They both noticed the same thing but in different but complementing ways. Near’s observational skills allowed him to notice the small detail of the microphone. Mello’s decisiveness to go where he wanted let him overhear Ryuzaki talking to someone. Neither of them figured it out first, they just did it in their own way. 

“Do you think it’s…?” Near started.

Realising where he was going, Mello said, “I think you’re right. This is something to do with the Kira case… Like, someone in the Kira Task Force?”

“To trust them that much, this must be someone he worked with,” Near noted in agreement.

Mello nodded. 

“Do you think we should be… concerned?” Near asked.

Mello thought about it for a few seconds. Now that was the big question. Because if there was a reason to be ‘concerned’ - if they couldn’t trust _L -_ the entire worldview they’d adopted since childhood would fall into pieces. And where would that leave the succession competition?

Thinking it over carefully, Mello could not find adequate reason to doubt his mentor. Ryuzaki was smarter than them, more experienced too. And he actually understood Mello, which few did. “Well… Ryuzaki doesn’t trust easily, so to reveal this part of his life, he must have good cause. So… I guess we should trust his judgment.”

Near suddenly looked away and withdrew back into himself, “I don’t know if I agree with that…”

Mello rolled his eyes. They’d been on such a great level until that second. Sharing the exact same thought until this impasse. “You’re really going to doubt Ryuzaki? Like it or not, he knows more than us.” 

“He’s still human,” Near vacantly said. "No human is infallible." 

“Whatever,” Mello mumbled, leaning back against the wall and staring at the other side of the room again. As much as he hated to admit it, he hated how abruptly that one disagreement had ended the conversation. He wanted to hear Near say more. 

They were submerged back into an uncomfortable silence. Maybe their disagreement was just restoring the natural order; enemies should not feel overly comfortable with each others' presence. It just made Mello mad. He hated that, because being mad meant he cared.

Mello reached down to his bag and grabbed the chocolate bar. 'Fuck it', he thought as he opened the wrapper to take a bite. As he brought the chocolate to his mouth, he paused and looked back over to Near. Was Near as bothered as he was? His face would never show it if he was. 

Mello reassured himself that he was expecting too much. He waited for so long to talk to someone about the overwhelming number of things going through his head, and not just _someone_ but Near specifically. Mello should be relieved they saw eye-to-eye on so much. Of course they weren’t going to agree on _everything_ , he should just be happy with what he got.

Letting out a sigh and rolling his eyes at himself, he split the chocolate in half. “Hey,” he said, shoving the chocolate in Near’s direction.

Near looked over and his eyes slid down to the chocolate but he didn't reach out to take it.

“Take it,” Mello pushed.

“But you love chocolate,” Near said, not understanding Mello's unexpected gesture.

“I do. And I want to share it with you. Do you have a problem with that?” Mello asked stubbornly.

Near shook his head and took the chocolate. They both leant against the wall, facing forward, with Mello occasionally glancing over at Near.

Breaking off a piece, Near placed it in his mouth, looking back to Mello as if he expected Mello to change his mind. “It’s nice,” Near said very quietly.

Mello grabbed his bag to pull a book out with unnecessary aggression, “Might as well do some work, right?”

Near nodded, still sucking on the chocolate in his mouth. “I’ll need to get my book from chemistry, I forgot to grab it after I bur-.”

Without saying anything, Mello cut Near off by taking Near’s book out of his bag and dropping it in front of him.

Near didn’t say anything but gave a soft smile to himself. He must have assumed that because Mello was so irritated with him, he wouldn’t be so willing to pick up Near’s books for him. But some habits just died hard, Mello reasoned.

Near moved closer Mello, and started looking through his book. He wasn’t meddling with toys anymore, his spare hand was pressed against the bedsheet. Mello could only stare at Near's pale hand, only a couple of inches away from his own.


	17. Comfort Zones

A couple of hours passed since their conversation – since Mello found himself fixated with Near’s hand, not that he cared to admit that. They’d finished their work long ago, but were both still sitting on Mello’s bed.

Mello leant against the wall with his arm behind his head, watching Near construct his Lego structures. Neither had said anything for a long time, but it wasn’t uncomfortable.

“I’m sorry,” Near said without any prompt.

Mello did a double take, “Sorry? Sorry for what?”

“Your jacket,” Near said. “The one I burnt. I wanted to replace it but I couldn’t find it anywhere online.”

Mello felt speechless. After everything that had happened, how did that stupid jacket even pass through Near’s mind? He certainly seemed unbothered after he set fire to the damn thing. Mello hadn’t even thought about it; when he got mad at Near it wasn’t because of material damage, it was the principle. “Yeah, I can’t imagine you would. It was a really old knock-off.”

“Oh… okay, I can pay you instead,” Near offered.

“It’s fine,” Mello insisted, surprised by Near’s unexpected… care? As if to even out the field he then added, “You can buy me a jacket for… I don’t know, my birthday or something. Or just buy me chocolate. I don’t care.”

Near nodded at the compromise, “Alright. Sounds good.”

Issue unexpectedly resolved, Mello felt a buzzing from his phone and slipped it out of his trouser pocket, seeing a message from Matt under his familiar pseudonym of ‘Max’. The message simply contained ’30 mins?’.

Mello smirked, but it faltered as he rose his eyes again to see Near. Maybe it was how happy he looked with his lego, the unexpectedly nice gesture of offering to buy a new jacket for him, or the conversation they shared about L. But whatever it was, forcing him to go out again when he was so obviously miserable the last time just didn’t seem fair.

“I’m going out. Don’t worry, you can stay here,” Mello said, getting up from his bed to get ready.

With the weight from Mello removed, Near adjusted to the new balance of the mattress. Near was satisfied and contented for a moment with the offer, but then dread dawned over him as he remembered L’s pesky words.

Going out with Mello and a bunch of strangers? That qualified for being out of his comfort zone.

Near was not totally convinced. He didn’t really care what L wanted; he wasn’t like Mello. But the balance of the mattress was thrown off by Mello’s absence and it didn’t feel right anymore. Ryuzaki might not hold much weight over Near’s decisions, but Mello…

Summoning whatever courage he could, Near quietly said, “I’ll come.”

Mello turned around sceptically to look at Near, “Seriously, you don’t have to. It’s fine, really. I-” Mello was close to saying ‘I trust you’, but saved face before he did. Instead he just re-stated, “It’s fine.”

“I want to,” Near said, adding, “Unless _you_ don’t want me to.”

“It’s not that. It’s just that you seemed miserable last time,” Mello said, being careful of his own tongue as he didn’t want to say anything too nice. “I don’t want to make you come along again.”

“I won’t be miserable. I want to come.” Near assured, playfully asking, “May I?”

Mello scowled in confusion, but throwing a coat on conceded, “Alright then, get changed.”

* * *

Near found himself once again in the pub Mello and Matt seemed to like so much; once again in the real world with a cold glass of lemonade which made his hands numb. He also had dominos with him, toys being a necessary security blanket no matter what he was doing.

Things were different this time, particularly where Mello was concerned. Mello wasn’t _completely_ socially abandoning him and even made a mild attempt to include him in conversations. It wasn’t too ubiquitous, and the attempt was shrouded by a deep scowl, but it was definitely there. Not that it came to much avail, Near keeping mostly quiet, but the attempt was still appreciated. The humour was just… nicer. Near found himself not hating every moment unlike the last time.

Matt eventually asked, “The others are outside, wanna go see them?”

Mello found himself hesitating, glancing towards Near. Ditching him again seemed a little too rude to repeat. Confusing both Matt and Mello, however, Near blankly offered “I can meet your friends.”

Matt raised his eyebrows, “Well. I guess it’s unanimous then.”

Mello narrowed his eyes momentarily in disbelief, before he let out a sigh and crossed his arms as he said, “Alright, apparently so.”

The three headed towards the garden, and the moment they stepped outside, Near felt some regret as the cold air pricked his skin. Matt rushed over to a bunch of others their age, immediately showing attention to a specific girl he seemed to have a crush on.

Near could feel unknown eyes on him and hoped one of the others would introduce him since he sure as hell wouldn’t do it himself.

“Urm, this is Nicholas, he’s my cousin,” Matt eventually said, pulling roughly at Near’s shoulder as he came up with the brief backstory on the spot.

Mello and Matt’s friends gave lukewarm but cautious greetings. Not that he was one to judge, giving a simple half-hearted hello.

Near had one social skill – his sharp deduction skills meant he could read anyone like a book. And he quickly put them to use to figure out what he could. If L could use the skills on him and Mello, Near should have no problem using them on a set of unremarkable students.

The girl Matt was crushing on was named Cassidy. He could see why Matt liked her. Cassidy was extremely socially competent with a good read on people, a sharp contrast to Matt who kept retreating back into his video games. She was a good student and was also president of the Anti-Kira Society at the University of Winchester. The problem was she was too attuned to her social situation. Near could sense her oversensitivity to what was socially correct in every interaction. There was a reason Wammy’s kids were kept socially isolated, this was one of them.

None of the others were as kind. Marc was rude and laid back, not a great student but still believed himself to be capable of winning any debate. He was one of those kids that got too much praise as a kid so never tried and thought success was guaranteed. Now he runs on poor grades and unearned confidence, smelling distinctly like drugs. He was vice-president to the Pro-Kira society. Jade was just as cruel but a lot smarter. She worked hard and was ruthless both socially and academically. She was president of the Pro-Kira Society. Near pretended to not notice that when they weren’t ignoring him, they were giving him backhanded comments.

Then there was Juliet, who couldn’t care less about the News or anything about this ‘Kira’ guy. She was just wanted to have a good time and didn’t want to think too hard about anything particularly. She was the type to like convenience more than passion.

A few others came and went, but these four seemed to be the people Mello and Matt spent most of their time with. Though Near still couldn’t figure out why either of them would need any external friends.

They began complaining about Winchester and talking about their future plans for when they had their degrees. Near could see Mello notably seize up. He didn’t have to ask why. As successors to L, he had no clear plans for the future. If Mello didn’t succeed, his future would be riddled with uncertainty. Near on the other hand wasn’t even sure how he’d survive.

“Urgh, I can’t believe I failed my exam. Can Kira just come back and give a heart attack to all of our professors?” Marc joked.

“Don’t even joke about that,” Cassidy said. “Hundreds of thousands of people died.”

Jade rolled her eyes “Cass, I know you’re super sensitive about this. But he was kidding. Get over it.”

“Yeah, and those people were criminals anyway. I mean Kira _is_ justice,” Marc added.

“He’s a serial killer,” Cassidy said plainly. “Prisoners are people too.”

Juliet, unimpressed, said, “Do we need to argue about this? L won so that’s that.”

“L is dead too,” Marc stated plainly. “No one won”.

“Well I don’t think L’s dead,” Cassidy boldly stated.

“No one has heard from him in months, you dumb bitch, what else could have happened to him?” Jade asked.

Matt coyly suggested, “Maybe he’s hiding. I would too if I won against Kira.” He was dangling the truth in front of these people who would never know like it was just a fun game. It seemed dangerous to Near, but Matt seemed to find it fun.

“Anything you want to add?” Jade asked Near condescendingly, even though he hadn’t been he only person to stay quiet for this conversation. Mello was being just as quiet as him.

“Back off,” Mello warned, detecting the transparent maliciousness behind her innocuous words.

“Why don’t we play a drinking game?” Juliet abruptly asked, willing to do anything to change the conversation and ease the tension.

Mello stood up and Near looked towards him in confusion. Without a word, Mello left the table and went inside and Near felt his anxiety rise tenfold. He couldn’t do this without Mello. Sure, Matt was still there, but Matt couldn’t understand him. Mello might hate him, but he never failed to understand him.

He was brought out of his daze when he noticed a couple of them looking at him. “I’m sorry. Did you say something to me?”

They started laughing and looked away.

Oh. They were making fun of him. He thought people stopped doing that kind of thing when they left high school.

Distracted, Near lost his balance and dropped his glass. It smashed hard against the ground as the sound of shattering echoed gratingly in his head.

Near was extremely uncomfortable with his own loss of concentration, and even more uncomfortable that he’d just drawn more attention to himself. Trying to alleviate the attention, he knelt down to pick up the broken shards of glass and very carelessly grabbed one of the shards creating a thin cut on his palm before anyone could stop him.

The glass shard fell back against the floor and Near stared at his hand as the blood spread across his skin. Following the creases on his palm, it flowed to the rim of his hand and down his fingers before trickling to the floor in small droplets. There was blood on his hands. Memories of his dreams came flooding back and for a moment he believed he was back in it. His hand was covered in blood. He’d hurt someone. Ryuzaki was dead. He’d killed L.

He came out of his trance like state when a hand wrapped around his wrist and another settled on his shoulder. He looked up to see Mello’s eyes, filled with a mixture of puzzlement and concern. Apparently he was back.

Near’s eyes neutralised from the horror to return to his usual expression, and he watched as Mello’s eyes narrowed as if he was trying to figure out if he really saw that horrified expression a moment ago or if he imagined it.

“Are you okay?”

“I cut myself,” Near noted unhelpfully.

“It’s just a scratch,” Mello said looking at the wound. “Hey, Matt, go get some tissues.” He called out over his shoulder.

Looking back at him, Mello hesitated before saying, “Your eyes… you looked like you were in a war for a moment.”

“I don’t like blood,” Near gently said. “I feel… lightheaded.”

Still carefully holding Near’s wrist Mello wrapped another arm around him and pulled him up.

He let Mello guide him inside and he couldn’t hear what the other were saying anymore. Near felt some relief as he felt the warmth of the inside heating. He quietly noted, “You’re tall…” His head fuzzy and unclear.

“Yeah? And?” Mello asked.

“Nothing, you’re just tall.”

Mello rolled his eyes, putting Near up on a barstool. Near looked down and noticed some blood got on his white pyjama top and looked away.

Matt came back with tissues and Mello held the tissues to his palm, folding Near’s fingers around the paper.

“Sorry,” Near said barely audibly. He wasn’t sure if Mello heard him apologise, but he thought he heard Mello shush him in response. 

“We can go now if you want,” Mello offered.

Near shook his head, “I’m fine. I want to say.”

Looking at him sceptically, Mello in a harsher but not quite malicious tone said, “Whatever you wanted to prove, you’ve proved it. You can give it up now.”

“I’m okay,” Near insisted.

Mello slowly nodded, accepting his insistence. Looking outside where his friends were, he said, “I’m sorry about them. They take a while to get used to. They’re like that to everyone initially.”

“They’re fine,” Near said. “You prepared me for anything.”

Mello let out a half-laugh and it made Near smile. “Yeah, I guess that’s true.”

“So… drinks?” Matt asked awkwardly. Suddenly it was _him_ feeling a little left out.

“Sure,” Mello said.

Near drifted out as Mello ordered some drinks. He watched as Matt and Mello took these tiny drinks in small glasses; he’d seen them in movies but never in real life.

Mello then pushed a drink towards Near, Lemonade again. But this time he stopped Near before he could take it and said, “Listen, I got you a vodka and lemonade. If you don’t want it, just leave it and I’ll drink it no questions asked.”

“Why?”

“I just wanted you to have the chance,” Mello said with a shrug. “Besides, you deserve it after your traumatic experience. No pressure.”

Matt coughed awkwardly, “So, urr, want to go outside again?”

“Go ahead, I just want to sit here for a moment,” Near said, touching the top of a finger on his alcoholic lemonade, tightening the fingers of his other hand around the bloody tissues. He felt like he should clean it, but he felt like he’d been too much of a burden already.

“… Go ahead, I’m gonna stay here,” Mello said.

“Are you sure?” Matt asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah, I’m good.” Mello said.

“Alrighty then, you kids have fun.” Matt said, heading outside.

“You didn’t hav-“ Near started.

“I know,” Mello cut him off, sitting on a bar stool next to him.

Near smiled and nodded. It was a tiny cut, he was barely about to pass out, but he wasn’t going to complain.

“We can go out when you’re feeling better. Besides, all they ever do is complain about Winchester, as if they aren’t the ones lucky enough to actually have a say in where they are,” Mello said.

Yes, Near considered thoughtfully, for someone as outgoing and active as Mello, Winchester must have seemed unforgivably dull. He must be envious of the people who could just get up and leave. Near looked at his drink and took a sip, it wasn’t the worst thing he’d ever tasted. “Where would you go? If you didn’t have to stay here, if you could have gone to university anywhere?”

Mello looked up at the dim lights with those sharp ambitious eyes, “… New York City. Capital of the world.”

Near smirked, “It’s not even the capital of its own country.”

Mello rolled his eyes, “I meant it figuratively not literally dumbass. And it’s not New York’s fault that a bunch of eighteenth-century dummies decided to put their capital in the middle of nowhere.”

“Point taken,” Near said, taking another drink.

“What about you? Where would you go?” Mello asked.

Near didn’t know. He didn’t think about things like that. “New York sounds okay… But I don’t think I’d survive in a big city on my own. It’s not really my expertise.” Near replied.

“Then don’t go alone.” Mello stated simply.

“What?” Near asked.

“Don’t go alone,” Mello restated simply. He didn’t care to elaborate.

Near drank around half of the lemonade Mello brought for him before he decided he didn't want anymore. Near pushed it towards Mello who lifted it to his lips to drink the rest of it, no questions asked, just as he said. 

"We can go out again now, if you want," Near said. 

"Cool," Mello said, standing up and offering a hand to keep Near steady. 

They returned to the others and this time they acted more cordially towards Near. Near couldn't figure out why. Maybe it was because they felt bad, maybe it was because they were afraid of Mello, either was possible. 

* * *

Arriving back at Wammy's House, Near waited at the door and said, “I can give you five minutes if you want.”

Mello hesitated before saying, “It’s fine. Don’t worry. Just go in.”

Near followed Mello in. Mello grabbed something out of a drawer, and grabbed Near’s wrist again. Near felt a cold sensation against his injured palm, and it took him a moment to realise it was a wet tissue to clean his hand. Near let out a breath, no longer worried about leaving an uncleaned cut. 

“Today was okay,” Near quietly said.

“Yeah,” Mello agreed with a reluctant tug to his voice. “Unexpectedly.” He threw the tissue away, muttering “Try not to aggravate it. It might start bleeding again.”

Mello went to turn off the lights. They then both changed uncomfortably in the dark before lying down in their beds. Mello turned to his side to look at Near, who was already watching him.

“Mello?” Near asked. Unblinkingly staring into Mello's eyes.

“Yeah?”

“Would you have rather I hadn’t come?” 

“No… You were fine,” Mello said. 

“I’m glad,” Near said. “Mello?”

“Yeah?”

“Nothing,” Near mumbled.

“Near?” Mello asked.

“Yes, Mello?”

“I liked talking to you about… everything with Ryuzaki. Could we maybe talk more about it at some point? I have some theories I want to run by you.”

“Definitely.”

“Near?”

“Yeah?”

“Seriously. I… liked being out with you.” Mello said, his eyes shutting slowly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long time no see, sorry about that. The last few months of 2020 were, well, 2020 lol. I'll try to upload soon, thanks for all the kind comments they are really appreciated :) <3


	18. The Unexpected

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: blood, nightmares and hallucinations

It was happening again.

Near was going through the motions of the same nightmare that wouldn’t leave him alone. He’d gone through it so many times by now that it was predictable. The feelings of discomfort and disgust never went away, but the paranoia of not knowing what was going to come next and the inability to distinguish dream from reality did. It became a matter of just waiting for the familiar and unchanging sensations to end. It was just a script that had to be read to the end.

The murder, the blood, the body. It never got easy, but at least it was all the same.

As he looked down at L’s dead body, he knew he should wake up any moment now.

But as he looked down at his hand s, there was no blood there. Near felt his anxiety spike. This had never happened before. This was different. When he looked up, the body was gone and he was in a field of roses. The roses stretched out as far as he could see, and Near had a deep rooted innate feeling that they did not belong to him.

Near reached out to touch a rose. And without much thought, he tore it from its stem. He held it in his palm and looked at it intently, tearing off a couple of petals and letting them float through the wind. This was all wrong. It was too disarming. There was no way his pattern of terrifying dreams would become resolved so abruptly. His dream had gone off script and he didn’t know what to do.

When he looked up again, Mello was looking down at him. He was still so tall. Near couldn’t see his expression; it was the first time he couldn’t tell how Mello felt. But Near knew, somehow, that the roses belonged to Mello.

Near looked back down at the rose, and the petals began to dissolve into a liquid, melting into blood which spread across his palm and slipped through his fingers.

Looking up, he wanted to ask Mello for help. But Mello was gone, and he was nowhere to be found. All that was in front of him was the dead body of Ryuzaki again. He was back to where he started, his hands covered in blood and a dead body before him.

It was worse this time. He knew it was a dream but the rationalization none of this was reality didn’t help this time, because Mello was there and the roses were burning his mind.

He could live with his nightmares as they were, and Ryuzaki never bothered him. But he wasn’t sure he could ever forgive his own mind for bringing Mello into his nightmares.

Mello…

* * *

Near woke up from his dream, lying motionless until the feeling of terror went away. It had become routine enough at this point that he learned to not react immediately. He needed to wait for his mind to adjust itself back to wakefulness.

He slowly brought his hands up to look at them, his vision and mind a little hazy. As he saw the dark liquid on them, he tried not to react violently like he used to. He waited for reality to hit him, so he could see it wasn’t real.

But the image of blood on his hands wasn’t disappearing like it always did. Near brought his hand to his bed sheets, thinking that if he could wipe them against something, he could convince himself that it really wasn’t real. As the dark blood spread against the sheets, Near’s panic rose as he realised that he wasn’t imagining anything.

It was then that he realised there was very real blood staining his white pyjamas and pale fingers.

All logic gone, Near started to become truly terrified, frantically moving his hands around for a solution and trying to get the blood off his hands with the irrepressible sense that he did something terrible. How else did blood get all over his hands? He must have hurt someone for real. What could he do now?

Near was so lost in his own delusions, that when he felt someone grab him by the arms to hold him still, he could only grab at the figure for help.

He was shaken hard until he stopped panicking, and it took Near only a moment more to understand that Mello was right in front of him. And he was speaking.

“Near! Near! Calm the fuck down!”

As Near finally grasped a hold of reality, he noticed he was out of breath. It was only then that he realised he’d been very vocal and physical about his distress; and hadn’t even noticed it. He also realised blood in Mello’s bright hair from where he’d frantically grabbed him.

There was the same look in Mello’s eyes as there was before, when he first cut his hand. Only this time the concern was accentuated and was accompanied by an added anger; distain at Near for causing such a fuss over nothing most likely. Looking back at his hand, Near felt quite stupid. Of course. It was just the stupid scratch. When he was having his nightmare, he must have torn the cut open. Now that he wasn’t panicking and the light was on, he could see there was far less blood then he’d led himself to believe.

Near was silent for a few moments, he wanted to do something with his hands, but Mello had moved his hands and now had an iron grip on his wrists. Moving was as futile as escaping Mello’s eyes, which were bearing down hard on him.

Eventually, Mello pulled at Near’s wrist to make him uncurl his hand and show him his palm. “You opened the cut on your hand, you idiot. I warned you.”

“Sorry,” Near apologised quietly.

“Near. What the fuck was that?” Mello asked, getting straight to the point.

Near didn’t reply and looked away, staring at his toy box. The dominos. He remembered that he left his dominos in the pub. How careless of him.

Mello let out an annoyed sigh, letting go of Near’s wrists as he saw that Near was already thinking about something else.

Now that he had come to his senses, Near noticed how much the cut on his hand hurt. He tested the pain by moving his fingers around as Mello stood up to get something. When Mello came back, he had another wet tissue to clean the wound once again as well as some fabric so he could bind it this time. “I have no idea how you made it so bad. It was a tiny scratch before.”

Mello had a point. Near must have really been clawing at the tiny cut to widen it as much as he did.

“I got some on you,” Near said lightly, pointing back at him and the bloody blotch on his hair.

“Yeah, I know,” Mello deadpanned. “Thanks for that.” As he bound the bandage around his hand, Near complained “It’s too tight.”

“You think anything tighter than your pyjamas is too tight. You’ll have to put up with it.” Mello said, not making any adjustments. “Besides, if you’re gonna keep having these dumb nightmares every night it’s probably a good idea to make sure you can’t hurt yourself.”

Near nodded before noticing his wording. Wait. Every night? “You… knew?” Near asked.

“Oh please. You know I’m supposed to be L’s successor too, right? Did you really think I wouldn’t notice you having nightmares every night?”

Near hummed lightly under the small glow of embarrassment. He thought he’d been more physically controlled during these dreams, apparently that wasn’t the case. Mello was a good detective too. He shouldn’t have been surprised.

In a quick adjustment of tone, Mello carefully asked “So… what’s your nightmares about?”

Near looked at his hand being bound. It was taking too long; Mello was stalling. He suspected Mello was bounding his hand slowly precisely because he wanted to interrogate him on this subject. It was smart – a way of trying to find out what was going on in Near’s head without implying he cared.

But Mello did care. And Near was inclined to believe he knew why… “You know I’ve been having nightmares about Ryuzaki, don’t you?”

Mello paused for a moment, looking a little caught out and confirming Near’s suspicions with a blunt nod.

“How did you know?” Near asked.

“I always hear you mutter something about L in your sleep.” Mello finished binding the wound but kept a hold of his hand, giving some artificial purpose for still being there. “What happened? Did you see someone hurt L? Did L hurt _you?_ ”

Near shook his head.

Mello narrowed his eyes as the emotional impact hit him. “This is really bothering you isn’t it.” He sounded surprised; Near had never seemed bothered before.

“L didn’t hurt me… I…” Near said, he tried to withdraw his hand but Mello tightened his grip. He didn’t like that Mello was looking straight at him.

“Oh my god,” Mello said as he abruptly figured it out, a devilish smile spreading across his face. “ _You_ hurt L!”

Near raised his eyes again to look Mello in his eyes. “I killed L.” He was clinically honest. Why wouldn’t he be when Mello had already worked most of it out? “I’ve murdered him in every dream I’ve had since he got here. I wake up with his blood covering my hands.”

Mello’s eyes widened and Near did his best to not flinch away. He didn’t want to let that gleam into his eyes that had already let Mello know something was wrong.

“So there you go. If you tell Ryzuaki, we both know that if he doesn’t choose you outright, it will be an important factor in his decision. So congratulations.” Near said, no indications of disappointment or threat in his eyes. Was he almost relieved? He couldn’t tell, he wasn’t the most in touch with his own emotions. “Maybe it’s a good thing. Perhaps L’s successor shouldn’t have fantasies about killing anybody.”

“If that’s the criteria neither of us would be picked,” Mello said with an eyeroll. God knew he had his fair share of… well, homicidal tendencies. Letting out a sigh, Mello thoughtfully deduced, “Ryuzaki has an immense level of power over our fate. And you’ve already told me you’ve had concerns over him and his trustworthiness in relation to Kira. Maybe your nightmares are just your way of coping with that lack of power. I don’t think it’s anything to worry about. Psychologically speaking, I mean.”

“That would make sense,” Near muttered quietly. With a smirk, he added, “look at you trying to psychoanalyse _me_.”

Mello smirked back and finally realising he was still holding onto Near’s bandaged hand flinched back. “Whatever. Anyway, I’m not gonna tell anyone.”

“What? Bu-”

“Winning against you because I snitched wouldn’t fell like a real victory. So… I won’t tell anyone,” Mello said.

Near didn’t know how to respond. He couldn’t believe that Mello wasn’t going to throw him under the bus. He was normally so good at predicting exactly how Mello would act, but he didn’t see this coming at all. Not only would Mello did anything to win, he also knew that Mello deeply resented the fact that Mello was constantly in trouble for something whilst Near always evaded punishment. So why would he first assure Near that he wasn’t evil and then show no intention of getting him in trouble?

Mello stood up and went to his bedside drawers, taking out a packet of pills and tossing them at Near. “This might help. Take two. They’re sleeping pills, everything with L gave me pretty bad insomnia so I swiped them from where they keep the other kids’ medications. It will keep you asleep for more than two hours for once.”

Near looked at them suspiciously, not understanding exactly how to interpret this new behaviour from Mello. He’d been so different all day to what he was used to, and Near found himself at every turn waiting for him to revert back to normal. Taking a couple, Mello sat on the side of his bed. He wasn’t going to say anything because he would never admit it, but Near knew he was waiting until he fell asleep so he could know he wasn’t having another nightmare.

Waiting for the sleeping pills to kick in, he watched Mello as his eyes fluttered shut. Before everything was hidden from view, under the deliriousness of sleep he could sworn the small blood stain on Mello’s hair shifted into the shape of a rose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for another very late chapter. I really hope you like this chapter <3


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